Match "Dave"

So I've emailed back and forth with Match "Dave" (his real name is fairly unique so I've changed it for our purposes) a few times and he gave me his phone number on his second email. He looks good on paper, he winked at me, but I'm a bit hesitant. And of course, I will tell you why.

First of all, Dave's living situation has "no answer" listed. To me, this means he lives with his parents. Why else would you list no answer? Hmpf.

Second of all, Dave apparently smokes "occasionally," and I believe it is up for interpretation as to how often "occasionally" really is.

Third of all, Dave's only turn off listed is sarcasm. Uh...he must be new here. That's my entire bag.

Fourth of all, Dave has 5'11" listed as his height, which means he's more like 5'9" to 5'10". He also may be a little pudgy, which isn't really a problem, but too pudgy is a problem.

Good things about Dave: He seems relatively clever and intelligent, he is getting his Master's in Special Education, he is a teacher, he looks pretty cute...he has a very cute dog and a Jeep. Most of you know about my soft spot for both of those. He also referred to himself as the "Swiss Army Knife of Fun" which is pretty amazing.

I'll let you know if I decide to call him. He is, in fact, "IN" (Yes, I asked) so I can add that to the plus side.

Part of me wants to call him and say something like this: "Look, I don't want to waste either of our time. Let me ask you a few questions...1. How often do you really smoke? 2. Do you live with your parents. 3. Do you know that I am sarcastic? 4. How tall are you REALLY? 5. Are you a lazy fat ass? 6. Is your dog trained and obedient? 5. What kind of shape is this Jeep you speak of really in? 6. Are your intentions pure? What are your questions for me?"

Is that too forward? My horoscope says Sometimes you can be so overconfident that others think you've gone too far. You might even surprise yourself with your boldness. Now, however, you can go beyond your normal limits and get away with behavior that would normally be unacceptable. Trust your intuition and just be yourself. Others are more willing now than ever to accept you just as you are

So that means he would be OK with that list of questions, right? Either that, or my worst fears above are true.

I am so wary of guys my age (He's 26) because they are usually just looking to hook up. Learned that lesson the hard way.

Eh EM.