Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Cloud Nine

So I'm giving Nick (uh huh, that's his name) the address to this so that he can see how funny I am. But of course he knows this already.

I feel amazing, like I can do anything. And if I wasn't so happy, I think I would be making myself sick. Like sick all over the front of myself. That sick.

It's bad...but in the best way.

In other news, I'm really REALLY tired. I had grand plans of grocery shopping tonight and having a super productive day at work. It would help if it didn't appear to be 8 at night. At least I'm not in the Super Dome.

I'll be more inspired later, I promise.

Sunday, August 28, 2005


*WARNING: Contains VERY explicit material. Seriously...*

Ok, it really wasn't that hot.

Training was such a blast. I met some amazing people with some killer southern accents (a weakness of mine) and also GOT LAID.

Yep, that's right. Fo' sho'.


Sunday, August 21, 2005


Stop what you're doing, get in your car (or on your bike) and immediately proceed to the movie theatre.

Buy a ticket to The 40-Year Old Virgin.

Watch the movie.

Return home and send me thanks and praises.

I'm off to Atlanta.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Georgia on my mind

The news was not good.

My branch is closing. My manager is being demoted. I get to keep my job, but I have a new "don't like her that much and I've known her for about 5 minutes" manager and a longer commute. I'm beginning to think that someone has a voodoo doll out there with a picture of my head attached.

I think I'm a pretty good person. I help old ladies cross the street (yep, sure do!), I treat those people who deserve it with respect and I bathe regularly. I don't know where I went wrong or what has happened that everything I have touched in the last 5 years or so seems to turn to shit.

But it's not all bad. I've gotten some fantastic new friends out of the deal, friends who I now don't know what I would do without.

It's puzzling.

With that said, I'm making a list of things to bring with me on my big girl business trip to Atlanta, GA. I'm going to training, you see. That's right. SO BIG! My step mother has taken to calling me "The Executive." If only my salary, mode of transportation, apartment OR wardrobe reflected the title, I would be ecstatic.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It sure is HARD being me.

It's not easy, that's for sure.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

What the F

There is spam in my blog. This I will not tolerate.

The big guns here at the new company want to "talk" to my manager and I tomorrow morning. About "plans."

And things were going so well.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I need more cow bell

The new guy is now the has been, never called because apparently he's a small child guy. But I'm not too broken up about it and I've already deleted any evidence of him in order to avoid the accidental drunk dial. *pats herself on the back*

I'm still at work but my brain is fried and I needed a break. I miss writing in this all the time, bitching about this and that. I'm sure you miss it, too. *sniff*

Brenda, if you are reading, your advice about peeing is not only very wise, but also timeless. Thank you.

I finished Harry Potter and just wasn't happy with the results. The wizarding world really is very harrowing. I've started reading the new John Irving book which, of course, is about dysfunctional childhoods, long lost relatives, tattoos, little boys sleeping with grown women and the like. Bring it.

I'm toying with the idea of showing up at Step and Scult tonight. Batting it around like it's a bunny and I'm a big bear. We'll see.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I have to pee so bad

Don't be upset. I know you've missed my witty banter. I've even missed my own witty banter.

I love my new job. I'm obsessed with it. I work many more hours that I used to. I've quickly become the company's number one fan. If you need a job and you're lucky enough to have my phone number, give me a call.

Right now, my bladder is about ready to explode.

I went to Atlantic City last weekend with some hot chicks. I saw boobs and box but no male strippers. It was unfortunate, especially since we were in the third largest city of sin. So it's back to Vegas for me, but boy did I bust out the big hair.

I'm off to the Cape this weekend for two FULL, uninterrupted days of relaxation.

My car is in a constant state of repair.

My credit card bill has now grown arms (hairy, manbeast arms) and tries to grab me and pin me down while chasing me in my sleep.

I have a round trip ticket to Atlanta and a suite reserved just for me. I have to get out the big suitcase.

The highlight of my day as of right now is getting into bed, freshly showered, and reading the new Harry Potter book until I pass out.

Life is good. I just need to win the lottery...or start playing.