I am SO not

Well hello!

I've been getting a handful of complaints that I don't post enough. I have plenty of excuses, but none of them are really all that valid. I am being neglectful.

Here's a message I received last week:

"I think I noticed your eyes first, but you do have lovely eyelashes and a great smile! It sounds like you have a pretty busy schedule, but I'd be interested in chatting and getting to know you better if you feel the same way. Hope to hear from you!

Zen"

A decent first message but uh...I have it hard to believe this guy's name is really "Zen."

Here is a snippet from his profile:

"I enjoy contracting work, and specialize in restoration, which includes buying and restoring a virtually abandoned 1860's general store with living space above it. This, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, lol), was a major factor in ending my marriage. I'm trying to work back into some of the things I left behind along the way, like activism, exercising, and exploring alternative ways of living. I'd also like to learn more about meditation, eating healthier, growing food, and living off the grid."

While maybe this strange comment should make me run very fast the opposite direction, I am otherwise intrigued. What kind of woman was this guy married to? Unless he's housing a brothel in the living space above the general store, I can't quite make the math work. And did she keep him locked in a small, light less room? Why couldn't he participate in something as basic as exercise?

So I messaged him, and told him I am so NOT into living off the grid. I will update if he writes back.

Heavens!

Oh my. I know I've been gone for a while. Things got busy and complicated and then I just kind of forgot I was writing in my blog again.

The free dating site activity has gone sharply downhill in terms of amusing anectodes. Turns out NE Guy knows a mutual friend and, well, he's trouble that I don't want to get mixed up in. His voice gave me the super creeps anyway.

Today though, I received the following message from username coolperson_pal:

"Hi I was wondering if we could talk sometime and get to know each other hope we can talk soon"

His short profile is written with additional missing puncuation and capitalization. It says he is 20. However, on careful inspection of his profile picture, he looks more like he's 15. Said picture is a very obvious school picture, complete with stiff pose and streaky school photographer backdrop. Then there is his username. Aw honey. Really? It's just so sad.

Cartoon characters

NE Guy slightly redeemed himself over the last week, but I'm still not so sure. And here's why: I talked to him on the phone and his voice was...strange. It doesn't match what he looks like and that kind of disturbed me. I felt like I was talking to him, but his voice was a few octaves higher than it should be. I suppose I shouldn't let this turn me off, but I'm a little weary of meeting him. What if he has some kind of tiny hand or foot? Oh I would die.