Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Grilled Cheese and Tomato

I tried to write last night but the server was unavailable or whatever.

Last night was date #4 with Bill, tonight was date #5.

Last night was really fun. Mac and cheese, Idol and some pretty awesome make out sessions (eh ehm).

Tonight...well...I was a big bitch.

I'm really tired, work is stressing me out and I probably shouldn't have gone over there with the way I had myself all worked up. But I wanted to see him, and I didn't want to bail and make him think I wasn't into him.

Because I am into him. Or at least I should be.

And while I tried not to show the real mood I was in, those of you who know me know that I'm terrible at faking it. But he was really patient and determined to put me in a better mood. He even made me laugh so hard that I had tears streaming down my face. He wasn't turned off by my attitude. He actually saw it as a challenge.

He is the sweetest, nicest, most thoughtful, most normal guy, and I, in TYPICAL Stephanie fashion, do not think I deserve to be with someone like him. This is what I've been looking for and this is what I want, but more importantly, this is what I need, and I'm already doubting myself.

I'm such an idiot.

He asked me to stay over tonight, with the preface of "I know you're tired, just sleep." And he meant it.

I said no.

Let me repeat...

I am such an idiot.

Monday, February 26, 2007

My last one for today, I swear...because I'm hungry anyway

Hi! Well, like many of the people who write these, this is something I never thought I would do. But after seeing how happy my friends are with the people they met, I thought I would give it a try... I am a little shy at first, but once I get to know you, I am a really fun guy to hang out with. I love to run, and South Boston is the perfect place with the beach and Castle Island right there. I am a huge sports fan, so I like to catch up on the Sox and Pats whenever I can. I like to get out, explore and learn new things every day. I am very easygoing, and get along well with everyone.

Replace "easygoing" with relaxed, multiple this paragraph by 10,000, and you have the guys within a 10 miles radius of me that are looking for dates on Match.


Yeah. I'm bored.

So I've seen some crazy things on Match, but I've never seen this:

I'm about to be 22 next Friday, 9/15, I got put in a 42 day coma which was from a severe beating which left me in a wheelchair but I can and do walk with a walker. I would say I'm pretty cute with deep blue eyes, long eyelashes and a noticeably cute face, so I'm told. I'm very intelligent, quick witted and carefree (kinda) lol. I love writing poetry when depressed or very happy. I would like to meet a girl whose appreciative, giving, sexual and really understanding and forgiving.

These are the things that make me feel less crazy. Is that mean?

Confession Time

I promised I would be really honest with myself while trying to find "Mr. Right" this time around.

Here goes.

Bill called me a while ago, just like he said he would. He was stuck in traffic for almost two hours on 95 on his way home from work, so it's 8 and he's just getting home. We talked for a bit about tomorrow night and watching The Idol (he asked me about this last night), about what he was eating for dinner, about how his cat hates me, about how we hate Kraft singles. And I almost said something like "Well, I'm not doing anything right now...Want me to come over?"

BUT I DID NOT. Instead, I told him to have a nice night and I hung up the phone. Now I can't stop thinking about it.

And you know why? It's because I want instant gratification and I want to "unknowingly" sabotage this good thing. But I also know that is a mistake. And I realize that the anticipation of seeing him again seems almost as satisfying as actually seeing him. I know this is the best part and instead of looking at it in a bad way, I need to enjoy it. And I think he's in the same place. I think he wanted to ask me just like I wanted to ask him. But neither of us did, because...we just didn't.

As Bill said last night "The only thing better than having sex is not having sex." He's actually making fun of the following line in a terrible movie that we watched that I thought would be good but was not good: "The only thing better than kissing on the first date is not kissing on the first date."

Nevertheless, I understand the principle. The build up is usually way better than the actual thing. And while this is risky and could lead to crushing disappointment, it's just fucking true.

So what's my confession? I'm disappointed about something that didn't happen that was never even supposed to happen, and the self doubt is creeping up on me. If I use the rational part of my brain, I realize this is a ridiculous thought and quickly dismiss it.

But the irrational, overly emotional, insecure part of me believes it whole heartedly.

Shit. I thought I was past this...


This is where shit gets tricky.

So Bill and I had a great time last night (of course), and I can't stop thinking about lying on the couch with him and making out because it just felt really good. (A note to readers: all articles of clothing remained ON. Who's proud of me?) I'm not even sure what it is about him that has rendered me a complete obsessive crazy person. Is my self esteem that low...Am I that desperate? Maybe. Or maybe I just really like this one.

He makes pizza on Sundays, so we had pizza. He made the pizza dough from scratch in the bread machine and everything. I felt kind of inferior. But I made a salad with lots of cucumbers. And, since he shares my affinity for sweet baby greens and seedless cucumbers, it was a huge hit. He was really thankful that I brought him beer and salad. I was like, "'s really not that hard."

At any rate, I was over there until 12:30 last night, well past the end of the Oscars, and the local news was in the background while I was trying to will myself off of his really comfortable leather couch where it was really warm in his really gorgeous apartment that he owns...

So this is the tricky stage. I need some rules of engagement.

1. Stay breezy, but still obviously interested.

2. Do not go out of your way to drive by his house to see if the lights are on in his apartment.

3. Always wait a sufficient amount of time before returning emails, phone calls and texts. Not too long, but just long enough so that he starts to sweat just a little on the other end.

4. Remain only mildly available. Don't go for last minute plans because you are obviously a very busy person and things need to be booked in advance.

5. Don't ask about old relationships until you are at the "boyfriend" stage. This also applies to the optional "How many people have you slept with" conversation.

6. Do not give it up until at least the 6th date. (Why do I pick 6 as the arbitrary number? I really don't know. We are past date number three which, according to Glamour readers, means I am not a skank...this time.)

7. Don't ask awkward questions whilst making out/in the heat of the moment.

8. Get the cat to like you. Put cat nip in your pockets if necessary.

9. Don't assume you are invited over...EVER. Sure he lives right down the street, but still.

and 10. DO NOT have obsessive thoughts that will only shatter your self image and create crippling self doubt.

Don't I give myself good advice?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Second Look

I just re-read that email from Charlie ("Mixed Messages") and I do think he meant well, but was very unpoetic about it. Boys can be so dumb.

Weak in the knees, but not in that "I just need to get some" kind of way

WELL. Last night was the second date with Match Bill.

So far, I cannot find anything wrong with Bill. Last night, I took the 5 minute walk over to his apartment and he made me fancy food (an experimental dish for him, nonetheless), which was as good as, if not better than, anything I've ever eaten in a restaurant. Then we watched a terrible movie that we both made fun of through the whole thing. Then we talked/made out for about 4 hours. There was way more talking and snuggling. I got over there at 6pm and I didn't leave until 1:30am. As Bill said "It's almost like a shift."

But let me just throw this out there: The making out wasn't the hungry, "I can't wait to take your clothes off and ravage you" type of making out. It had the potential to be, of course, but somehow it was kept low key. I'm at a bit of a loss for words to describe it, actually. Shocking, I know.

And this is me not questioning it or over analyzing it. See?

Some other things I found out about Bill:

1. His cat isn't crazy about me, but she does see me as competition, obviously. I kept telling Bill that he is SO that cat's bitch. No question. He denies it, of course.

2. Bill's apartment is gorgeous. Well, anything is nice compared to my place but still...this place is amazing. Three (small) bedrooms, huge kitchen, laundry room, dining room, living room. All hardwood floors and recently renovated but still not that bleach white generic kind of place. His decorating is plain but still very coordinated and pleasant. And...wait for it...wait for it...Bill owns this place. That's right. He doesn't rent it. It's a true Condo (way more than 550 square feet, Yoda) and he pays a mortgage. Uh huh. He's also the "Condo President" which is just precious.

3. I knew Bill had great legs, but it was just last night that I noticed his ass. Uhm...yeah.

4. Bill and I weigh about the same. He's pretty skinny as in, skinnier than me but taller. We'll see how that rolls. It is nice to have to point my head up just a bit to kiss him. That's not bad at all.

5. Although I knew Bill was really smart and had done well for himself, it's even more so than I thought. Did I mention that he owns his beautiful apartment that is 5 minutes down the street from me? DID I?

6. A very quick, visual assessment tells me that he is *eh ehm* well equipped.

He invited me over to watch the Oscars tonight. So...I'm going to try really hard not to mess this up and not sleep with him on the third date.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, February 24, 2007


Date tonight date tonight date tonight!!


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Mixed messages

I know that all men are mildly brain dead on some level.

But this email from Charlie on Match (I winked at him) really has me perplexed. Can anyone tell if he's really interested in talking to me or not?

Subject: re: your wink, or something like that

Swingers is one of the greatest movies of all time. Typically, though, girls think it's a "guys file" and don't get it. And i'm secretly a little glad about that, because everything you need to know about guys is in that movie. Sadly enough...The nice thing about my favorite movie (the Big Lebowski) is that it's hard to even pretend it has any insight into the human condition. Except that people love to bowl.Speaking of which, i think it's kind of awesome that you had bowling first on your "things i like" list. Even though i haven't been in about a year, i always loved it. And I think my cousin works at that 24 hour bowling place off of 93, so i probably should go bowling soon.I also love that you twice mention cleaning is a hobby of yours. Though i suppose that if i had cleaning as a hobby, it would surprise so many people that i'd need to list it twice. Hmm, maybe more then that...Hawaii, always seems so amazing, and i want to go as well. I'm certified in scuba, but it's just way too bloody cold around here for me to want to go diving, so i'd love to Hawaii. That, and climbing up active volcano's, and those amazing-looking beaches, and the fact it's the middle of winter here, i think i might have convinced myself to go next week.Well, i just wanted to respond, and say "hey". because i definitely need to talk to anyone who doesn't like "swordfish, beets, raw onions and liver and onions" Because liver and beets are probably my too least favorite foods in the world. -charlie

Then there is the following email from a 35 year old dude whose portrait is "no longer available."

Subject: Hey

I like your profile. An interesting read. especially the part about I am a kind hearted person with an edge. You ever go clubbing in Boston?

Ugh and Ew!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Don't get psycho

That's what I'm telling myself. Stay breezy.

Sure you just talked to Bill for an hour and a half on the phone and loved every second of it. Sure he's smart and funny and confident without being arrogant. Sure he's tall and has great legs and eyes that hypnotize you.


Calm down, put it in perspective and remind yourself that, odds are, he will end up being competely wrong for you.

Ok. Better now.

Why are you so lame?

Match Mike has yet to use my phone number and continues to email me. I have now officially lied to him about "being tied up at work" and not able to hang out with him tomorrow night. Granted, I did get a more tempting invitation today, but whatever. This guy is just annoying me with his dating retardedness.

Alice has written me the perfect "Dear John" letter to send to Mike. I've pasted it below:

Thanks for the offer to go out again. I think you're a really nice guy and we had some really great conversation when we went out. But to be honest, I don't think it's fair to lead you on when you could be dating girls who are more your type. I got a great vibe from you but it was definitely more along the friend line then on any romantic level. I certainly don't want you to take this as rejection because I know that can sting but we're both on match to meet the right person for us and I feel like you are not it for me. Thanks for a great time, good luck finding someone else (which should be no problem. You're a great guy)

P.S.-You resemble a Yoda bobble head that a Star Wars Geek would hook to his VW Gulf with bumper stickers saying, "May the Force Be With You" and "Lord of the Rings Rules" and the eye twitch kind of creeps me out like a strobe light in a gay club. Thanks for the free drinks sucka.

It's perfect, isn't it?

Bill said to me on our date last weekend that there really weren't that many "cool" people on match and we need to stick together. I agreed that yes, I was cool and it was very difficult being me.

The Idol is on. I must go.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

There is just so much to talk about

A few updates on Bill and Mike.

Let's get the shorter story out of the way first.

Mike. Oh Mike. Mike has no game. I emailed Mike my phone number after our first date and, instead of calling, Mike emailed me his number. All I can do is shake my head. He wanted to go to the MFA on Monday. It was too soon for me and I wanted to spend my day off doing mostly nothing. So I told him I had to work. So it looks like we'll hang out on Thursday now. I do want to go out with him again, if only for additional blog material. I can't wait to hear what he will suggest we do. Something extremely bland, I'm sure.

Bill. Oh Bill. Bill is fucking hilarious. Everytime I think of his tirade on Paula's clapping, I chuckle out loud. Note to self: Try to avoid thinking about this in a client meeting.

Since we spoke on Sunday night, we've been exchanging several emails on a daily basis. He is taking a training class for work and has been telling me about the teacher. Here are some excerpts:

"my class is actually pretty good. The teacher is unintentionally funny, she keeps making inadvertant suggestive comments and doesn't realize what she's saying."

"she just drew a penis on the white board. she claimed it was a database connection, but I'm getting suspicious of her motives."

I told him to watch himself if she followed him to the bathroom and also not to leave his glass of water unattended.

"teach seems to have cooled on me."


"I think its on again... I just asked teach if there was a way to change the Font of a certain window. And she was like 'Yah, you go here and here, and then you can change it to whatever, like Courier New.' And I was all 'That's exactly what I wanted to change it to.' Now she wants to have all my babies."

Yeah. This last quote is exactly something random that I would have come up with. It rules.

I'm waiting for him to suggest what we do this weekend. Waiting...

The Idol is on 24 guys. Yes! My fruity cocktail and I are counting down the minutes.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

"Who claps like that?"

I just hung up with Bill after about an hour and a half. I'm not sure what we spent an hour and a half talking about, but I do remember one highlight that had me laughing so hard I was curled up in the fetal position with stomach cramps.

Bill loves American Idol, as do I. All I said was "Paula" and he started a two minute monologue on how she claps. It was...amazing. It went something like this:

"Have you seen how Paula claps? Most people keep one hand stationary and then use the other hand to drive into the stationary hand to produce a clap. And most people keep their fingers closed while doing do, too. Not Paula. Paula claps with BOTH hands, just palms touching. It makes no noise. She spreads her fingers out as wide as they can spread and always brings her hands above her head...(voice gets quieter) It's actually really awesome."

Bill. Oh Bill.

I have to say they've grown on me over the years...

I went to my parent's tonight for dinner. I told them I was doing online dating and they were all questions. It was actually really cute. So, I told them about Mike and Bill, more about Bill. Although my Dad loved my description of Bobblehead Yoda. My impersonation of the eye twitch had him in tears.

So while we are eating, Bill calls (sweet!) and I let it go to voice mail. Five minutes later my Dad is all "Can we listen to the message that Bill left?" So, I put the phone on speaker and we all lean in and listen to Bill's message: "Hey Stephanie, it's Bill. I'm driving from Minneapolis to Rochester and will be in the car for about an hour. Give me a call later...errr...tomorrow. I had a lot of fun last night. Talk to you soon. Bye."

My step mother: "He sounds cute!"
My Dad: "You should call him back tonight. But don't tell him you played his voice mail for your parents."

Hilarity ensues.

Your comments are appreciated...kind of

I've disabled the comments feature on my blog (unless you are a registered blogger user), because most of what I get is crappy spam.

If you have a burning question or comment, just email me.

Baby Blues

Well, since my fans are waiting in eager anticipation for news on my date with Match Bill, I can no longer keep you in suspense!

First of all...I arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes late, the only reason being that I'm an idiot. It wasn't that cold and I should have just walked from my apartment. But I thought that I might find a close parking spot. How silly of me. I ended up parking closer to my apartment than to the restaurant. Whatever.

So I walk up and Bill is sitting in the waiting area, looking cuter than his Match pictures. I see him, apologize and am instantly knocked over (metaphorically speaking) by his eyes. They are a color blue that I have never seen. I didn't stop looking at them all night. I happen to be a sucker for blue eyes (probably because mine are brown and boring).

I also liked his voice right away. This has become a trait that is apparently pretty important to me for who knows what reason. (Match Jerk #1 sounds like he's 16, so maybe I should have known right off that that was going nowhere.) It was a bit awkward at first (duh) and I think (for me, at least) it had everything to do with how cute I thought he was.

We talked and ate and laughed. He's really funny and I kind of figured he would be, based on his emails. At one point, he had me laughing so hard that my stomach started to hurt. I tried to recall the last time that had happened to me with a guy and I couldn't. I found out he's from Springfield, Westachusetts, which opened up my endless supply of Westachusetts jokes, of which he has plenty of his own. His parents are ultraconservative (he's not) and he has an older brother named Paul. He will be the big 3-0 on March 14th, which also happens to be the birthday of a dear, dear friend of mine. He works for the Mayo Clinic, where he helps monitor and write the computer software for the laboratories. I was quick to point out that this means he is an intregal part in finding the cure for cancer and saving lives, to which he agreed and told me that's usually "his line." But seriously...he is. He has red hair and is about 6'2", pretty slim and very fair. He's actually half Italian, which I find hilarious.

We talking about everything. I shared with him my monumental purchase of yesterday...a real, live Dustbuster. I explained to him that this purchase actually makes me feel like a more complete human being, to which he responsed with "I understand." Yes! He also spent a good minute trying to remove a small piece of onion (without actually touching it) from our table (left from the previous dinners) by using the menu as a shovel. He finally gave up and pushed it behind the fruity drink menu. It was hilarious.

After the restaurant, we headed to another bar and had three more drinks. When we started to get ready to leave, I asked him the BIG question, the question that holds integral importance: "What cell phone service do you have?" His answer was the correct one.

It turns out he lives less than a quarter mile from me on a cross street. He lives alone and has a cat named, Nico. He showed me a picture, and she's pretty cute as far as cats go. Apparently she plays fetch.

He's going to Minnesota (home of the Mayo Clinic) for the week but said he would call. I told him he didn't have to wait three days.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Bobble Head Yoda with an Eye Twitch

That's your visual in order to fully share in the experience that IS online dating session #2: Match Mike from Kentucky.

Tonight was a very normal, nice encounter with Match Mike. We had great conversation, never an awkward lull, good food, drinks and he paid. Sounds great, right?

Well, that's just it. Mike is very nice, but I am not the least bit attracted to him in "that" way. My gauge on this is if I can picture myself kissing him. No. No I cannot.

There were some odd, slightly uncomfortable moments that I did a great job of glossing over. He is your classic, Kentucky raised, software engineer. He claims to be "middle of the road, maybe more liberal minded" yet made some pretty scathing comments about Section 8 housing. Something like "If you're poor, you should live in the ghetto. I shouldn't have to pay for you to live somewhere nice." The more I think about it, that is an exact quote.

I let that one slide. I had to fire someone today, and I wasn't in the mood to have extremely uncomfortable conversation #2 of the day. I also let slide his comment about "small government" which, last time I checked, wasn't all that liberal. I am far from being a political expert, but I'm pretty sure he's still got quite a bit of Kentucky in him.

But I did ask about the fried chicken. He said it is quite good.

Some interesting quirks about Mike:
1. I shit you not, he looks like Yoda. Mostly the teeth and the almond shaped eyes.
2. His eyelids twitch constantly. It's unnerving. At first I thought he was winking at me repeatedly, but then thought better of it.
3. While listening to me go on about this and that, he didn't just nod his head; It was almost as if he separated his head from his neck and was bobbing it up and down using some sort of invisible force (Yoda!). If you've seen your run of the mill bobblehead doll, on a dashboard, in a car, on a very bumpy road, you have it.

#3 may have been nerves, because this improved over the two hours we chatted.

But so help me, I could not stop thinking about Luke, Vader and the Force. As much as I tried.

But I told him we would hang out again. I don't want to completely dismiss him, as he seems to be a very nice gentleman.

Then I went to DSW. It is so hit or miss...

In other news, John (Date #1), actually called me tonight and left me a message. Something like..."Haven't heard from you in a few days, wondering when we're gonna meet up again." I spoke back to my voice mail in disbelief: "WHAT?" He's dillusional. A small, small dillusional man.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


The second to last episode of The OC aired tonight.

I have a history with this show. It reminds me of things that are bittersweet.

It hasn't been that great lately, but it used to be amazing. Tijuana??

I'm going to go ahead and embarrass myself...I'm a bit choked up about next week's finale.


You really need snow tires on that thing

Ah yes...the joy of seeing the rich and snobby shrink in shame. If only I had really seen it. IF ONLY!!

My old supervisor (if you can call him that) is a trust fund baby who has to continue to work for certain reasons. Use your imagination.

To protect myself, we'll call him...Mr. Brat.

Mr. Brat drives a ridiculously expensive luxury vehicle (estimated cost: $80,000) that he bought with his trust fund. He parks it in a gargage in the South End. Get the picture?

Anyway...we had quite a storm yesterday and Mr. Brat got stuck at the intersection leaving work. I wish I had witnessed it because it sounds like it was a a LAUGH RIOT. Three strangers PLUS my work husband had to push him through the intersection. THEN Mr. Brat spun off the Pike and had to get towed. THEN he "worked from home" today.


Ok...I need to catch my breath.

In other news, that big fucking jerk who ditched me after the 3rd date actually tried to get in touch with me today. As IF.

Stay tuned for summaries of Dates 1 and 2.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Until next year...

I'm going to bed, so Valentine's Day is officially over. Phew. I made it through again without incident.

Not like last year was so great...or the year before...or the year before.

Ok, so maybe I've never had a non-shitty V-Day.

What I've always loved is that you can call it VD. That's awesome.

Match Mike and Match Bill

So...fake boyfriend #1 turned out to be a big fucking jerk. Long story short...he got what he wanted and then acted pissed off about something stupid to get me to go away. I will say this...that boy plays a good game. It's impressive. It will catch up with him though. He was lacking in....certain areas anyway. In this case, that would have been a deal breaker eventually.

But we move on.

While I have never been the biggest fan of "dating," I'm excited for my dates this weekend. Yep...Dates...Plural!

Friday night will be a casual, after work encounter at a local brew pub. Match Mike and I work close to each other. He writes software for anti virus or anti spam or something. The kind of guy you can totally picture with a pocket protector...but it would be a cool pocket protector. He looks pretty nerdy and claims he is 5'11" (which means he's 5'10" max) but any man who can write a long-winded email better than myself about the wonders of the Dustbuster is worth at least a first date.

Saturday night finds us with Bill. Bill lives here in Waltham (I think pretty close by) and also does something with computers. He is super sarcastic and is addicted to The Idol. In addition, he also hates beets. Bring it on.

Bill is currently ahead, but only by a hair.

Updates will be posted accordingly. Who knows what will come of all this, if anything. But it will be fun for you to read. And I really only know of one person reading at the moment...


Monday, February 12, 2007

Boys are stupid, part...gajillion

I had a rough, rough day and I'm not hanging in so well.

I'm not sure why I haven't learned a few things by now. Like...I hate men, boys, whatever you'll want to call them. I don't understand them, I will never understand them.

My fake boyfriend and I had some lovely dates over the weekend. I've texted him "can't wait to see you again" called him "call me if you are around" and all I've gotten is a few lines in Yahoo Messenger. Awesome. That's just great. Heaven forbid he call or...CALL.

What don't they get?

I'm PMSing like crazy and I'm this new medication and going off an old one...

I'm such a mess.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I'm not ready to make nice

So the Dixie Chicks really fuckin' rock, man!

I'm watching the Grammy's, which are usually torture, but the most recent DC performance was just fantastic. And the song makes such wonderful sense. I love it. I just bought it from the iTunes store. Look how 2005 I am!

At any rate. My new fake boyfriend is really cute and I went out with him Friday night AND Saturday night. It's pretty exciting.

But there is no way in hell that I'm getting my hopes up.

Monday, February 05, 2007


I have a date tomorrow night with my virtual fake boyfriend!

Wish me luck. :)

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Love in an elevator

It's the only Aerosmith song that I like. It's not related to this post at all.

You will only be entertained by this post if you have seen my favorite movie!

I went to bed early last night and was awakened at 12:30am by a text message from my new Match boyfriend. He had given me his number on Thursday night via Yahoo Messenger. And on Thursday night, I called him...and was met with his voice mail. I left a message that I thought was money. All day yesterday I was being a super neurotic freak and wondering why oh why he had not called me back yet. Obviously, I'm terrible at this.

Anyway...I get a text from him (we'll call him...John) with a short..."Hello :)"

In my half asleep stupor, I am very tempted to text back, so I do of course. And this is what I text: "Laugh all you want Mikey, but if you call too soon, you might scare away a beautiful baby who's ready to party." Now John and I have been quoting lines from my favorite movie back and forth to each other since we started our communication on Monday. And of course, I love it.

Side note: I fucking HATE god damn Nextel phones. JUST CALL THE PERSON so the rest of us don't have to hear your enter conversation...from both sides!


He text's back at 4 this morning with: "That's why waiting three days to call you back was kinda money."

So now I'm really excited.

Yet, it's important to note that I'm not getting my hopes up and always expecting the worst. Because that was a hard lesson learned, and history tends to repeat itself.

Friday, February 02, 2007

And so much happens in 6 months...

I have a pile of shit in my blog from fuckers who want to just clog it up with spam. I've returned for that reason, if no other.

I have no idea if anyone has even checked this lately. I'd like to start to write in it again, as I feel I have so many stories to tell.

So...hello again.

The job is still going well. There have been promotions (not me), title changes without promotions and/or raises (that would be me), and accolades upon accolades of what a fantastic job I'm doing! Well...that's great and all but I think I need a little more than a pat on the back. It's getting ridiculous. I want more GD money. I am making slightly more money than when I started, yet I have accrued more debt than I had before. I'm still trying to figure out how the hell that happened. Let's bank on that tax return that is bound to be extremely disappointing.

I love where I work, just not the company I work for. It that makes no sense to you, then you haven't been paying attention.

I got over Nick, dated Brad* 6 months later and broke up with him a few weeks ago after 2 months. My shortest and weirdest relationship. Brad was probably the most normal and stable guy I have dated, buuuuut I came to learn quickly that it is merely because he is very, very stupid. He also had a very weird sexual aggression thing going on which I really think has something to do with a mother issue. But I'm no expert. And a terrible, terrible kisser. How I thought I could train it or deal with it long was naive of me.

I don't mean that Brad is stupid in the way that he can't read or is mildly retarded. I mean stupid as in he has no social tact. He is 32 years old and still acts as though he is a teenager...a really rude teenager. Now, I know he was never the right match. That is now abundantly clear. I am so ready to be with someone that I thought if I rode it out, he would grow on me. soon as the relationship became work, he bailed. Or, more appropriately...he didn't have the balls to bail and I had to do it for him. A weak, weak man who is concientious, yes! but far past the point of normalcy. It's to the point where he jeopardizes his own happiness by doing something that will make other people (read: over bearing, old school Italian family) happy. Sad and sadder...which leads us into the next part of the story...

I'm really not all that angry about it anymore. I just wanted my stuff back.

This is part when it gets complicated and you have to keep up:

He (Brad, now my ex) is already dating the ex-girlfriend of his best friend. Now...the best friend's current girlfriend just happens to be Nick's ex girlfriend, the one before me. Remember her? Well...bite your tongue, but we're friends now. HAHHAHAHAH. Isn't life just hilarious? She is a very nice girl. Being cordial and a non-bitch in her presence really paid off. I love karma.

Brad's new girlfriend is affectionately known as The Skank. She and Brad have been friends for quite some time (since childhood I think) and now they have decided that it would be a good idea to date. (Brad's parents LOVE The Skank) Maybe I'm just not familiar with this "circle of friends" tactic, but it seems super fucked up to me. Let's just pass around the pussy! EWWWWWWWWW!

What's the greatest is that Alice* (Nick's ex before me, now my friend) HATES The Skank. For obvious reasons, and for some other non-savory reasons, that The Skank has brought upon herself.

The whole things grosses me out to the max, but no longer gets me heated. It's done, it's over with and I'm moving on. I'm sure I learned something that will become abundantly clear at some point in the very distant future. As for now, it is not at all apparent to me.

So now here I sit on a Friday night, writing in a dry blog. Why? I'm really tired. I could have gone out but I'm exhausted. I've started on and it's draining. I hope it pays off...eventually. I did buy the 6 month guarantee. Hopefully a year will be long enough to the find my virtual life partner.

Maybe we should start a pool on that.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent OR the stupid.