And the clouds part...

SO...

No word from Match Doug. I'm very relieved. I hope he just floats away to the "land of dates that never should have happened" and that's the end of it.

EWWWWWW. It still gives me the heebeejeebees.

No word from Yummy. And that's just fine. I don't plan on calling him. After all, I'm a hot commodity!

At any rate, I used the phone number I was given on Tuesday night yesterday eve and called up Mike. His outgoing voice mail is some extremely odd jibberish set to a tune which, on first listen, was actually pretty awesome. I have a feeling that Mike has some sort of alterna-job. It seems as though he had many upon many tattoos (hot) and well...anyone who uses their cell phone for their job would most likey have their name or number or something on the outgoing message. More evidence? He called me back today...at 3:30 in the afternoon.

I really didn't think I would get a call back. First the lack of return text then the jibberish voice mail? I thought I was being Punk'd. Alas, I got a call back and an awkward (in an adorable way) voice mail.

Hmmmmm....

Hitting up the town tonight in Cambridge. Oh, it's gonna rule.

Exhaustion

As my dad would say, I've been "burning the candle at both ends" this week.

Every night I've either been working or out and about, even including Sunday night! It's good to be busy, but I really need to do laundry.

But let's get to the good stuff.

So last night was date #2 with Match Doug. The night started with me being really tired and not caring at all what I looked like, so I changed into jeans, a sweatshirt and sneakers and put my hair in a headband. To my credit, the heat was cranked to 80 when I got home to my apartment after work and I just couldn't stay in there for long enough to come up with another cute outfit that was also comfortable. I did manage to powder my nose and re-cover my cheek zit. THEN I got stuck in Pike traffic THEN Doug failed to tell me that his street did not have a street sign, so I drove past it and then couldn't find a place to turn around. Then I called him and he didn't know anything about his neighborhood where he's lived for six years. Then he tells me we have to go grocery shopping for pizza ingredients. Uhm...excuse me? You don't go grocery shopping on a second date. He insists he told me about these plans in an email and my retort is that I thought he was kidding. He didn't appreciate the sass at all and asked me why I was being so mean. AWKWARD. So then we have a few beers and he makes a pizza out of cheese, onions and green olives. GROSS. I politely asked that he order a pizza.

Side story about the beer: I ended up bringing over two six packs, one of beer that I actually wanted to drink and one of beer I knew he would like. After drinking one of my beers (yum), he insisted on feeding me some strange Belgian beer even though I was clear that I wanted to drink THE BEER THAT I HAD BROUGHT. I almost asked for my 5remaining beers when I was leaving.

Eh ehm...to continue.

I had about four beers while waiting for the pizza and was borderline sloshed by the time it arrived. I quickly ate some of it because I knew I had to sober up: the more beer I had the more I was doing the "Well, his accent isn't THAT annoying...he IS kinda cute...he DOES have nice cats...he DOES have his own place..." and I knew that was trouble. I was trying to convince myself that I liked him.

After two pieces of pizza, it was crystal clear that I did NOT in fact like him, at least not romantically. He started to snuggle up on me. While I like to be touched and enjoy a good snuggle, he assumed too much and it didn't feel right. Then he sort of picked me up and layed me down on the couch (after he insisted I sit on his lap). I went with it at first (in a "Let's see where this is going, I might be into it" kind of way) but then he started kissing me like a guppy, took my shoes off and shoved his hands up my shirt. Then had the NERVE to tell me my bra was "boring" but he still wanted to "tease" me. Since when do guys TEASE? That is the stupidest, gayest thing I have ever heard.

Do you want me to go on? DO YOU?

So after I tell him I don't want to continue with the heavy petting (all on his part, mind you. I barely touched him), he persists...which pissed me off. Then it was time to go...and I got out of there fast.

There are some metrosexual things I can tolerate and actually find endearing. A lime green VW bug (the newer version!) with specialty MA plates is NOT one of those things. That shit is just GAY.

Ugh!!!

p.s.

Date with BNS has been postponed yet again (him this time) to this coming Sunday. Await an update...

Hurry Hurry!

I'm a bit short on time but wanted to give you a few updates. I know you're all chomping at the bit.

1. The date with Match Doug on Sunday turned out to be surprisingly fun. I drank a bit too much and blabbered on AND ON about myself. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't offer to pay the check, and we split it, which I shouldn't be hung up on but I kind of am. We made out for a bit. And I'm not sure if I actually find him attractive or I was just lit. He deserves another viewing. Not so many beers this time. Needless to say, I've been invited over his place tonight for pizza, made from dough in his...bread machine. I'm bringing beer. If you all remember, Match Bill ALSO made me pizza from dough he made in his...bread machine. Hmm...

2. His Yumminess has been pretty silent this week. He texted me on Monday asking about plans for this week and, since I'm booked solid, I was vague. He must not have liked it, because I haven't heard a peep since. Whatev.

3. Last night, while out for yet another birthday celebration (hooray!) I was playing an impromptu game of trivia at a local pub when, much to my delight, an attractive man approached my table and HANDED ME HIS PHONE NUMBER. Uhmmm....what...just...happened. I was looking OK but not stellar by any means. And I was half in the bag. I tried to text him some nonsense and have not received a response. The theory is that maybe he doesn't "do" texting. That would certainly be silly. At any rate, I'll call him tomorrow. His name is...Mike.

4. Lots of action on Match right now with some promising candidates. I'm BACK, baby!

Hold on...it's dark in here

Last night I really wanted to hit up the town for my birthday celebration, even if a day late. Well, there were no takers...except Match Doug.

I ended up calling him back and we talked for about a half an hour. He really wanted to take me out last night. No, thank you. He sounds like an uber nerd...and I'm pretty sure that the way he talks really annoys me. Did I agree to meet up with him tonight? Why yes, yes I did. I'm sure it will provide me with some excellent material. I'll take notes, just for you.

I feel so totally defeated. I winked and emailed a whole gaggle of men on Match today. We'll see if anything comes of that. To quote my therapist, "It's a numbers game." She's right. But that doesn't dimiss the fact that I still feel lost in a see of over confident assholes.

I also agreed to meet up with BNS on Tuesday night. Why? Who the hell knows. Probably because I know we're going to a place with really good food.

The Yummy was very drunk last night and asked to come over. I said no. I just changed my sheets and I have a big zit on my cheek. Those seemed like more than valid excuses.

And let's not forget it's back to work tomorrow. I'm dreading it, but at the same time looking forward to the reinfusion of routine. My mental health needs it.

Oh I hate her

Roommate Super Douche is here with her boyfriend. They have the TV AND her stereo on (complete with Jamaican Christmas version of "Frosty the Snowman") on FULL BLAST. I might kill myself.

My birthday was yesterday. It was fine. Let's not dwell on it.

So I winked at this guy on Match yesterday while in the hotel using free internet. He emailed me and asked me for my number and he has already called me, wants to hang out tomorrow. Someone moves fast. He likes to run. Hope he's not disappointed to learn that it's my least favorite thing ever. From looking at his picture, it seems Match Doug is one of those guys who never closes his lips. You know the type, I know you do. Sort of lack-jawed. It's not that his mouth isn't closed, it's that his lips didn't follow suite. Call me crazy, but that will definitely annoy me.

The music has moved onto "It's beginning to look alot like Christmas," Jamaican style. Yeah, she's dead.

Blah this won't be funny or uplifting

It's getting closer and closer...birthday #27.

I'm not sure why it's especially suffocating this year. Maybe because I felt I would be somewhere different like living on my own...or with my significant other. And yet that sounds SO lame. Waaah wahhh poor me because I don't have a boyfriend. Really? When did I become that girl? Where did these self imposed limits COME from?

Well...onto updates...

His Yumminess is in communication with me again via text after a few days hiatus. I don't even know if I want to see him again, or even have that to deal with. I guess in an emergency, it's a good thing to have on the back burner. Is that terrible?

I never went out on a date with BNS. I made an excuse about being sick. I don't think I'll ever go out with him.

I sent Match Scott an email with my phone number. I'm sick of emailing with him for what's going on three weeks. Grow a set...or I guess I'll give you my set.

I also don't know why this week finds me feeling particularly sorry for myself. Is it the PMS? (wow that's an old and lame excuse) Something going on with the weather? Is the longer hair really not working for me?

Unstructured time has never been my friend. It leaves me listless and useless. I'm such a bad vacation taker.

I miss the days where I cherished my alone time. Now I think I'm starting to dread it. When did this happen? When did I become this lonely? And WHY. What the...maybe it's the upcoming year mark of my full on dating push. It makes me wonder if I'd be in a different place had I not gone down that road. Of course I wouldn't have had nearly as many funny stories for the blog.

I know...so many questions...where IS that magic 8-ball...

Meltdown and I don't care how ridiculous the reason sounds

I turn 27 one week from today.

Not a peep from Yummy since what can only be described as his texting meltdown. It's not so much HIM that upsets me (wait...not at all him), it's dating in general. This is what happens. I say I need a break and then somehow I end up going on a couple dates with some joker, things end and I feel shitty about it, and for no particular reason.

The "holidays" are fast approaching. The most miserable time of the year. I feel most alone over the next month and a half, every year, no matter what.

What I'd really love to do is curl up into a ball and hide for my entire vacation. But it's my birthday and it's Thanksgiving and I can't.

I'm off to the Big Apple this afternoon to visit a dear friend. The last time I visited the Big Apple, I was in the middle of a crippling depression. I made it through that...I can make it through this. Maybe something amazing will happen on the bus. Maybe I'll have an epiphany.

My Dad gave me a CD of Beatles songs. I love him for that.

Yummy...now Bitter

What...the....FUCK

So third date last night with Yummy. We had a great time...especially great for me...and then he had to go and completely freak out.

He left my place and then I get texts in rapid succession about how he just broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago, he's not ready for anything serious, not looking for a girlfriend, he just wants to have fun.

I remind him...WE HAVE ALREADY HAD THIS CONVERSATION.

I tell him that if he wants to talk to me, he just needs to TALK...texting about it is such bullshit. Grow a set and call me. I tell him I GET IT. It's crystal clear. We're just having fun.

What's the problem?

Why, when I am finally at a place where I can get together with someone just for the sake of having fun and be healthy about it, this is finally the guy who actually communicates with me and sets expectations.

So now I'm trying to determine if the yumminess is worth the aggrevation. I'll get back to you on that. Because there are a few things he doesn't do that I would like him to do...and I have to weigh the pros and cons.

Mass Confusion

So date number three with Yummy is tonight. How...did...this...happen...

I'm terribly confused. I thought this was just a booty call? Now it's planning dates...days in advance...? Now we're talking to each other during the day, texting about plans and he's talking to me about changing his schedule? Why do I care?

What is going on??

Growing weary of the yummy.

I think I'm already bored.

In an surprising turn of events, his Yumminess took me out to dinner on our second date last night. He's bizaar, just completetly strange in how he interacts with me. I can't even really describe it. I think he's being really guarded (maybe he had his heart broken?) but doesn't seem he has the emotional maturity to understand that about himself. But then he'll say something that makes me second guess that assumption, and I throw my hands up in the air and go back to looking at him as purely a sexual object. It's...weird. For right now, he's great for the ego. And while I doubt it will go anywhere past the physical, he is fun.

Match Scott continues to email me strange questions like "What's your sweetest fantasy?" What kind of question is THAT...what does that MEAN? All I can do is shake my head. Do I keep up this ridiculous email charade? Ugh.

BNS emailed me three times between Friday night and this afternoon. I don't know a nice way to tell him he needs to go easy or that there's only so many times you can tell a girl she's cute before it seems you don't really mean it. I also can't in my right mind let him pay tomorrow night. It's already on the friendship tip.

I read a phew pages of Mortgages for Dummies today. Progress.

I think my DVD player is broken. But my computer seems to be working just great so that's something.

And I REALLY don't want to go work tomorrow. But I have to. One more week until a whole week off. Phew.

updates updates updates

Thank goodness for all of the A's in my life...AC, AT, AO, AL (in no particular order)...thank you, ladies.

This post needs a list format. There is just THAT much.

1. His Yumminess texted me this morning...at 830 sharp...asking what I ended up doing last night. Random, strange and completely unexpected. We have a few interchanges via text that involve him telling me he met with his realtor last night and the close date on his condo was moved back and then me responding with how much that sucks. And that's...it. He had asked me to let him "know about hanging out next week" yesterday morning, and I told him we would just have to see. And now the chit chat? He's strange. Apparently being born in 1983 makes him misunderstood. My admin told me that.

2. Match Scott and I are still emailing...I called him out and was all "Are you ever going to ask me for my number?" and his response is "Yes...at some point in the near future." People are f-ing weird.

3. I have a date with a new acquaintance on Monday. We'll call him...Boy Named Sue. BNS is a guitarist, in his mid 30's (ish) that I met through a social networking website. We've been emailing, he asked if I wanted to get drinks, I said "Hell, why not?"

4. Tonight is my charity gala...you remember...cute (hopefully), male (hopefully) architects? I leave work in t-minus 54 minutes. Not soon enough.

5. My Douche Bag Roommate and her boyfriend picked out a $42,000 engagement ring from Tiffany's. Need I remind you she is unemployed and he lives on a boat and his ex (who has a restraining order against him) lives in his condo. How AM I single?

What a bunch of bullshit

So the Yummy 24 year old is now a thorn in my side. He's giving me the run around and no one gives ME the run around.

NEXT.

In other news, I'm attending a charity event tomorrow night with young, (hopefully) single, (hopefully) male architects.

When god (or whoever) closes a door, he opens a window...

But really....

I need to go running in the rain until I can't breathe and my legs give out.

It's either that or eating 6 of those 100-calorie packs with a half gallon of milk on the side.

Or I make the phone call first (oh sorry, you haven't been in my head all day so you don't already know that I've been obsessing about whether or not I'll hear from the Yummy 24 year old ever again), which some people are telling me to do (men) and other people are telling me not to do (women). Ugh I'm so confused! Why do I even LIKE this guy, and his yumminess cannot be the only reason? I know there's another reason. There has to be. But what? WHAT IS IT?

And why am I so insecure as to think he won't call. Am I that bitter as to have NO expectations?

Shit. Boys make me crazy. Maybe this is a sign that I'm not ready yet for The Big Show. Or that 24 year olds have only one life function, and that is to be yummy.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Probably ONE person (you know who you are) will get this reference, but it describes...something at this moment

I need to watch some gay porn and get my hate back.

Progress

So things with Match Scott are pretty much on ice. We are emailing back and forth for...about 5 days now and he has yet to ask me for my number. What? Why? Sigh.

In other news, I met a HOT 24 year old this past Friday night. I didn't realize how hot he was until last night, but that's besides the point. We texted and talked all weekend. We had out technical "first" date last night and well...you know I have trouble with self control. He's Yummy. And plus, he'll be 25 in January. There are so many things wrong about this situation that it may have circled on back to right (thanks for that, MC). Only time will tell.

My lovely roommate (the one who isn't the douchebag) told me it was OK to have some fun with him, just as long as I truly didn't care if I ever heard from him again. I agreed...after all, I have Match Scott on ice. But the trouble started early with the 24 hotty and I was in way over my head before I even realized what was happening...and while I'm pretty sure I WILL hear from him again (but don't quote me on it) it's not a huge loss if I don't. I mean...I'll live.

All in all, last night was pretty awesome for a Monday. Let the good times roll.

I know, I said I would stop

Enter Match Scott. He winked at me. I like attention. He's taller than me. He has dark hair and green eyes.

What's a girl to do?