Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Is Duckie still single?

I was really starting to like Andrew McCarthy, or AM to keep it simple. He is funny and pretty cute and seemed to have his life together. Sure he has a few dramatic and extraneous things going on, but I was willing to be understand and look past most of it. Come to find out, boyfriend is reeeally bad with money. I'm actually embarrassed for him. Oh so embarrassed.

Now before I tell this story, I want to be clear on one thing. I am NOT of the breed of woman that thinks her man should pay for absolutely everything. Sure, a sugar daddy would be great, but I don't like feeling like I owe a man anything. It's unsettling.

Nevertheless, a man has to have some kind of cash flow available to fund dating, if that is what he chooses to do. AM doesn't seem to quite understand that. Last night, we went out on our third date. Things were going well, chugging right along, until we went to dinner, at a pretty cheap restaurant, and he couldn't pay the bill. We're talking less an $25 here.

* As a side note, I should give you a little history: First date, he paid the entire bill, and only accepted I provided the tip when I persisted (After all, I am an independent woman). Our second date I footed the bill, and while he offered tip, I did not accept and he did not persist. When I do the math, the third date was his turn.

Back to date number three. I've been told my opinion on this is a bit harsh, and maybe that person has a point, but I think that there is absolutely no excuse for this. To quote another friend, big boys have checking accounts and credit cards. He knew for days we were going on this date, and had plenty of time to move funds around, which is what his excuse was for lack thereof. I don't care if you are planning to spend money or not, there should be, at all time, AT A MINIMUM, $100 in your checking account. And a credit card, of which I have several and which aren't all that hard to get, is an excellent back up plan. I'm not saying I'm interested in dating someone with huge amounts of credit card debt, but what I am saying is that it's nice to have that safety net.

But it gets worse. When I footed the bill, he said he would get the movie. Ok so...you don't have $25 in your checking account, but you have $16? Then, you'll just never guess the bad luck he had. The theater's computer system was down and not accepting cards, and only cash. Ha! And I heard this straight from the source, so this wasn't some tale he weaved for me. Soooo I had to fork over cash for the movie, too. The oh so ironic part is that I had stopped at an ATM earlier to get cash because I like to have it and I thought I might need it. Good thing one of us is prepared.

After the movie, I asked him if that kind of thing was going to happen all the time. I mean, I need to know what the deal is and I think that is fair. He was apologetic and embarrassed (maybe not as much as he should have been) and told me, No, of course not.

So where does this leave me? I really don't know. In my mind, this is a biiiiiig problem.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Kim Cattrall would be so proud


I have in fact mentioned aforementioned dude here before. He's the one who is afraid of mannequins, so I don't need your help with a code name.

We'll be calling him Andrew McCarthy. Bonus points good for purchase if you get the reference without looking it up on your IMDb app.

Yes I will be checking my baggage


To my three readers: Lord knows you are sitting around biting your nails and compulsively hitting the refresh button on your phone browser, just waiting for a new blog entry to appear. I'm sorry I put you through that, but girlfriend has been BUSY.

First of all, my state board licensing exam is a week from Saturday. It's totally not a big deal (uh huh...), except that if I don't pass, I lose my initial fee of $68and have to pay them more money to retake it. So, I need to pass. I'm very nervous. You see, they don't make it simple. The exam is completely different from how you would actually perform a service. The order of things is all jacked up and your model isn't even horizontal. You have to pretend you are a doctor prepping for surgery. That's how insane they are about sanitation and hygiene. Irregahdless, I've been jamming in the studying. I still have some time. Phew.

Speaking of time, the last three weeks have gone by scarily fast. I mean between pretending to do work while searching for a new job and scurrying around going on dates and having my phone blow up with potential job offers, I've been flat out. However, I am still making time for my Netflix Queue. Phew! I know!

What was that? Dates you say? Plural? That's right, bitches! Two dates with the SAME guy. Now I haven't mentioned him here, only because our first interactions weren't all that amusing or anecdotal. Our first date was last week and he was really nervous. Like so nervous he hardly ate. The second date just a phew days ago was much better. He's very sweet and he's really into me. That's the first problem. How am I supposed to function like that? A guy asking me about my feelings and shit? Huh? Then there is another huge caveat: He has a crazy baby momma. From what little I can gather of her, she sounds like a girl from Springer who wears a gold necklace bearing her name in shiny cursive letters (I wish I could take credit for that one). Said dude (I'm taking code name suggestions!) mentioned something about my style being "simple and elegant" (Barf, right?), which can only mean she wears Ed Hardy inspired clothes (she can't afford the real thing!) and possibly teases her hair.

Ok ok. So he's a nice guy. He has some issues sure, but I have mine, too. They just don't involve a baby and restraining orders. Who am I to judge? And no, I don't want you to answer that.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Excuse me, but you have my stapler

Fuck me.

I've been messaging back and forth with a potential suitor, but I think he may be too young for me. It hasn't gotten juicy or hilarious or stupid yet, but I'll be sure to update you if it does. I was messaging with another guy that seemed alright, but then he referred to Kristen Wiig as "grating" so I don't think I will write him back. I don't want to know someone with that opinion.

While I'm thinking of it, the recent (2!) comments to my blog have touched me. Deeply. Maybe it is three of you that read now, and that's fucking progress. I might as well be viral.

All that being said, I thought I would talk about work today. After all, I am at work just trying to burn time until I do yet another meaningless and mind numbing task. I just watched Office Space last night and, for the first time out of the many upon many times that I have watched it, I could truly and deeply relate to Mr. Peter Gibbons. I have never had a job before where I felt like that. For this, I consider myself lucky. I have always done something that I was invested in and proud of (ok well, mostly). Until now.

This job was never intended to be anything permanent. And, as Peter G. would say, it's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I'm not motivated. I don't care about reconcilling the assets on an investment account, especially since I am required to spend hours searching for differences that amount to pennies. Added to that, I feel like everyone who works here has a smile drawn on their face. It's boring, it's degrading and it pays next to nothing. Yet I was so excited when I landed it.

Despite all this, I am grateful for something to fill part of my days. Sure I would love to sit around and do nothing ALL THE TIME, but I don't have good cable or DVR anymore and I really need to stop buying books, so I don't have all that much to do in my spare time as it is. And while I adore that school is finally over, I am terrified of having nothing to do, even if I loathed what I had to do before.

AND even with all this, I don't find myself running home to jump on Monster and look for full time gigs that are actually in my field.

And again, it's not because I'm lazy. It's because I'm scared.