Thursday, June 16, 2011

Yes I will be checking my baggage


To my three readers: Lord knows you are sitting around biting your nails and compulsively hitting the refresh button on your phone browser, just waiting for a new blog entry to appear. I'm sorry I put you through that, but girlfriend has been BUSY.

First of all, my state board licensing exam is a week from Saturday. It's totally not a big deal (uh huh...), except that if I don't pass, I lose my initial fee of $68and have to pay them more money to retake it. So, I need to pass. I'm very nervous. You see, they don't make it simple. The exam is completely different from how you would actually perform a service. The order of things is all jacked up and your model isn't even horizontal. You have to pretend you are a doctor prepping for surgery. That's how insane they are about sanitation and hygiene. Irregahdless, I've been jamming in the studying. I still have some time. Phew.

Speaking of time, the last three weeks have gone by scarily fast. I mean between pretending to do work while searching for a new job and scurrying around going on dates and having my phone blow up with potential job offers, I've been flat out. However, I am still making time for my Netflix Queue. Phew! I know!

What was that? Dates you say? Plural? That's right, bitches! Two dates with the SAME guy. Now I haven't mentioned him here, only because our first interactions weren't all that amusing or anecdotal. Our first date was last week and he was really nervous. Like so nervous he hardly ate. The second date just a phew days ago was much better. He's very sweet and he's really into me. That's the first problem. How am I supposed to function like that? A guy asking me about my feelings and shit? Huh? Then there is another huge caveat: He has a crazy baby momma. From what little I can gather of her, she sounds like a girl from Springer who wears a gold necklace bearing her name in shiny cursive letters (I wish I could take credit for that one). Said dude (I'm taking code name suggestions!) mentioned something about my style being "simple and elegant" (Barf, right?), which can only mean she wears Ed Hardy inspired clothes (she can't afford the real thing!) and possibly teases her hair.

Ok ok. So he's a nice guy. He has some issues sure, but I have mine, too. They just don't involve a baby and restraining orders. Who am I to judge? And no, I don't want you to answer that.

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