Friday, May 30, 2008

Reason #976 why I should never leave my apartment

I went to the gym last night. Good for me. Second time this week.

On my way back to my car after a mediocre work out, I notice upon approach of Lola that she was blocked in. Now...I wish I could draw you a diagram of the situation, but I'll do my best to be descriptive. On the side lot of my gym, there is a really ghetto auxillary parking lot. When the gym is busy during the week, cars tend to go into this overflow section because it's closer to the entrance than parking at the back of the lot. And plus, the back of the larger lot is next to this adandoned lot which is kind of sketchy when it gets dark.

ANYWAY, in this particular overflow area, there aren't marked parking spots, so you just kind of pull in behind another car and then everyone else follows in a row. It usually works out just fine. Well, last night FOUR different idiots decided to make a THIRD row which, as you may have guessed, blocks those people in the middle in. One of those blocked cars was my Lola.

It didn't take long for the mess to get straightened out. I think the funniest part of the evening was the reaction of one of my fellow blocked in gym mates. At first glance, he seemed like a sensible guy, but with each second that went by (in a total of ten minutes), he got more and more agitated by the situation, and at an accelerated rate. Sure, it was annoying. But what can you do? Just deal with it and wait...why get all upset? He kept repeating "I have to BE somewhere!" and passing back and forth and checking his phone. I was like "Dude, where do you have to be in your swim trunks, flip flops and muscle shirt?" Hrmm. He didn't so much like that question.

So when we were leaving, I asked him if needed help backing out, because he was in the middle of the pack and the manuevering may have been a bit tight. You being a nice person. It happens from time to time. But he already didn't like me, and he huffed and puffed and said: "What would I need YOUR help for?"

Well...nevermind then.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


So I stayed awake last night, tossing and turning.

I'm bored again.

You know the drill. After about a month of taking a "break" from dating, I get the itch again.

Now that some harrowing work events have come to a close for the foreseeable future, my job has gone back to sucking just enough for me not to be all that motivated to find a new one. I've come back full circle from utter misery to simple complacency.

It is terribly hard for me to get motivated lately. And that applies to everything: going out with friends, getting to the gym, job searching, grocery shopping, dating...everything seems to require way more effort than I'm willing to expend. So I end up at home, in my absolutely stellar apartment, usually going about my daily routine and quite happy about it.

Now I must clarify.

I'm not living in filth or anything. I haven't stopped obsessively cleaning/organizing/putting away or showering or going to work. It's just that when I'm home, I really don't want to leave. And just the thought of going anywhere after work except home/couch, leaves me exhausted. I can't get my work clothes off fast enough when I get in the door. There is a trail of them up the stairs and into the bathroom. My shut in warbrode is getting quite a bit of use.

But I've digressed. And definitely contradicted myself. If I'm saying I don't have the energy/motivated to do much, then why would I want to open up the dating can of worms again?

Great question. I'm not sure of the answer.

Alas...Bored. Dating. Continue...

So last night, while tossing and turning, I was thinking about how I would pen a new "dating profile." It occured to me that maybe I should just write about why I like things, rather than a laundry list of what those things are, or a list of the character traits I believe I possess. Can I really explain, eloquently and genuinely, why I find the majority of reality television to be an actual study on the vast human psyche, which also happens to be extremely entertaining when done right? Or will it just come across that I am a one dimensional couch potato?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

T vomit

I really don't have anything new and exciting to tell you. Things are the same.

Yesterday was very humid and the T was supah miserable.

I usually walk the mile or so to the Orange Line instead of jumping on the Red, which is closer to work, but yesterday I took the Red. You was very hot and sticky and I was wearing a skirt. Do I need to say more?

Well, I get on the Red and immediately smell vomit...that smell that you just cannot mistake with anything else. And I look...and it's all over the seat that I'm standing across from. So these two sassy black girls get on after me and start going all "Girlfriend!" about the puke, which is hilarious, and almost makes it all worth it.

So then this snobby Asian girl gets on and is all "Can you PLEASE move in more?" when the train is completely packed and her skinny ass should just wait for the next fucking train. (Everyone acts like there will NEVER be another train to come and that THIS train is the LAST train that will EVER take them home EVER) The sassy black girls were about to warn her about the puke but then were like "Uh uh bitch! Not with that attitude!" was so awesome. I was dying.

Anyway...the snobby girl puts her hand DIRECTLY on the railing that is covered in puke and then touches her hair. The sassy girls and I are hysterical. was so great. Proof that there is justice in the world.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Look at those legs! Pick the D. Cook video...Obvi.


I have never loved being this wrong.

I will admit I thought the finale was SUPER painful, of what I actually saw. I went to bed half way through...right after the train wreck that was the Brian Adams resurrection, which was preceded by the drugged Diane Summer disaster. I did DVR the rest of it, and will most likely fast forward through all of it until the winner announcement.

My man won! As DC points out, this will make it signigicantly more difficult for me to bed him. But because of my selfless nature, I don't so much mind.

Could he have made a better album if he came in second place? Most definitely. Will he still do fairly well for himself? Of course. Just look at my girl Kelly.

But he looked very happy and humble...and all good words that start with "H."

I very much wish it was Friday. This week is taking forever.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Idol blah

So little Archuleta is going to win. This I know...

I'm still disappointed because I really want Cook to win. But it would be a big upset and people would yell and scream and protest.

Alas...I still want D. Cook's hot ass.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

New pants update

Yes, they came in the mail last week. Have you been dying for the conclusion? It occured to me today that I haven't written in over a week. Whoops!

Blah...They didn't fit.

Waaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

However...I returned them to store and found another pair I like even more. I'm planning on buying them online in another color. So for now, the pants problem has been partially solved.

No, I didn't get that job I had mentioned.

But it's ok...I only cried for 4 hours instead of 8.

I'm tired of using technology

Ok...yesterday and today have been entirely new experiences for me on the technology front.

I know you've all heard of phone sex. I've never really been able to get into it, save a handful of times, as I have had lots of long distance boyfriends.

But text sex? Oh good lord. I'm into it...and then some.

The identity of the recipient will for now remain anonymous. I just hope that actions speak louder (or...ok...maybe just as loud) as words.

Monday, May 12, 2008

It's become evident

My blog has been pretty lame lately.

Maybe it's my life as a shut in. I don't have any decent material anymore because stupid, annoying people do not pierce my bubble nearly as often. And those that do are at work, and I can't really go into detail on that (so unfortunate).

I'm obviously feeling a bit insecure. Here's why: I just bought a couple hundred dollars worth of pants on I definitely had my fingers crossed when I hit the "submit order" button. I have a vague idea that they might fit but let's be was a random and careless thing for me to do. Especially since I used the recently paid off credit card. Whoops.

All this...and who knows how much longer I will be gainfully employed.

My prediction: The pants will come in the mail and I will either 1. Wear them a few times, trying to convince myself that I made a wise retail decision, but be uncomfortable the entire time because they are baggy everywhere they aren't supposed to be or 2. Put the pants on and be just thrilled and pat myself on the back for an (actual) wise retail decision (I did get 10% off) OR finally 3. Try them on, realize they don't fit at all and then suck it up and either return them at an actual store(which is what all this was supposed to help me avoid in the first place) or in the mail.

Let's pull for option two. Let's pull REAL hard. I need this break.

the world would be so much better if everyone were more like me

I am surrounded by crazies and idiots.

Work continues to suck my soul. It's found a new and creative way to do so...color me impressed.

I have a second interview tomorrow for a job I REALLY want, right in downtown. They even gave me homework, so those of you who know me well know that homework for a job interview is right up my alley. Nerd Alert!

I know this is asking for something without offering to give anything (you should be used to it be now), but I could use some good vibes to counteract the incredibly crazy volume of bads ones.

Exhibit A: See above reference to WORK.

Exhibit B: I've been trying to "hang out" with this one guy I met at a party a couple of weeks ago, but to no avail. It seems incredibly difficult. He has been deemed insane. I second that.

Exhibit C: More on the man front, the creepies and crawlies are really coming out of the woodwork lately. I need to get that magnet removed...

Thank you to all, but especially to AC (down with the poisoned cream!), CM (your voice mails keep me going) and my dearest Donald (I miss you more than you miss me...duh) for your recent and wonderful support, despite my being a thoroughly miserable bitch...albeit a thoroughly miserable bitch with fantastic hair.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

what the...?

I swear things like this only happen to me.

Volunteer guy has a girlfriend. Just weird.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

And you were doing so well!

I really thought I had gotten over the hump yesterday. I had a kick ass interview and they want to see me back for a second round. The job, the company, the money, the would all be great for me. A (young) guy I met while volunteering went out of his way to contact me (and you know how much I love male attention).

Things were looking up.

Then, once again, the shit hit the fan. It seems to happen way too often lately. I should be absolutely covered in splattered poo by now.

Today I saw, with my own eyes, a complete betrayl of my trust. Someone who I thought had been my friend, my true blue, and a constant, has actually been playing me all along.

To say that I am confused is an understatement. I don't know what to believe, or what pieces of the truth were told to me. It's a complete mind fuck, and I want OUT.

And yes, you guessed it, it has to do with my increasingly dysfunctional, soap opera-esque J-O-B.

Friday, May 02, 2008

the drama finds me...again

I'm sorry about the lapses in posts. When I'm quiet, I know it makes some of you cranky, nervous, anxious...My drama is like crack to some of you apparently.

Today was a killer of a day...I've had too many of them lately.

My boss, and subsequently another key member of his staff, are both done here effective today. They both technically "resigned" but were really more fired. The way they've gone out could have been handled much better from their end. MUCH better. They've put me, and another remaining colleague, in an awkward position. It's not pleasant and we're both really irritated. The events of today leave me to assist with a messy clean up.

I'm completely on edge. I want to get out of this absolutely insane excuse for a work place, but I haven't quite reached the point with any propects where it's safe for me to leave. By safe I mean being able to jump from this income to another. I've got some things lined up but they require frequent leaves of absence from the office. As much as I don't care for my current employers, I still hate lying in general about my whereabouts. Doctor's appointments, car trouble, and family "emergencies" are all wearing thin. To make me feel even worse, one of the owners today told me that they "trust" me. Oye.

So I've already tried to brainstorm on the story that will go along with my notice. I've already planted the seed that working here doesn't necessarily fit in with my career goals. I didn't outright say I was looking for another job, but I did hint that I wasn't 100% happy, even before the beginning of the current downward spiral. When (and if) the new job offer comes and I weigh the pros and cons and eventually accept, I will tell the owners here that an old recruiting contact who is now at such and such a place has the perfect opportunity for me. This opportunity is much more focused on what I really want to do, so no hard feelings and by the way, I did my interview on a Saturday and never took work time to tend to personal business... Obviously I'm still trying to fine tune it.

My heart has been in my throat all day. In addition, a guy that I met last weekend that I really like and had fun with is turning out to be quite the pussy. But it's OK. I'm not dating right now anyway.

So send me all your positive thoughts. I need them now more than ever.