TROUBLE

This is where shit gets tricky.

So Bill and I had a great time last night (of course), and I can't stop thinking about lying on the couch with him and making out because it just felt really good. (A note to readers: all articles of clothing remained ON. Who's proud of me?) I'm not even sure what it is about him that has rendered me a complete obsessive crazy person. Is my self esteem that low...Am I that desperate? Maybe. Or maybe I just really like this one.

He makes pizza on Sundays, so we had pizza. He made the pizza dough from scratch in the bread machine and everything. I felt kind of inferior. But I made a salad with lots of cucumbers. And, since he shares my affinity for sweet baby greens and seedless cucumbers, it was a huge hit. He was really thankful that I brought him beer and salad. I was like, "Uhm...it's really not that hard."

At any rate, I was over there until 12:30 last night, well past the end of the Oscars, and the local news was in the background while I was trying to will myself off of his really comfortable leather couch where it was really warm in his really gorgeous apartment that he owns...

So this is the tricky stage. I need some rules of engagement.

1. Stay breezy, but still obviously interested.

2. Do not go out of your way to drive by his house to see if the lights are on in his apartment.

3. Always wait a sufficient amount of time before returning emails, phone calls and texts. Not too long, but just long enough so that he starts to sweat just a little on the other end.

4. Remain only mildly available. Don't go for last minute plans because you are obviously a very busy person and things need to be booked in advance.

5. Don't ask about old relationships until you are at the "boyfriend" stage. This also applies to the optional "How many people have you slept with" conversation.

6. Do not give it up until at least the 6th date. (Why do I pick 6 as the arbitrary number? I really don't know. We are past date number three which, according to Glamour readers, means I am not a skank...this time.)

7. Don't ask awkward questions whilst making out/in the heat of the moment.

8. Get the cat to like you. Put cat nip in your pockets if necessary.

9. Don't assume you are invited over...EVER. Sure he lives right down the street, but still.

and 10. DO NOT have obsessive thoughts that will only shatter your self image and create crippling self doubt.

Don't I give myself good advice?