The Idol was muy terrible last night. I won't mince words. I was actually...bored.
Insert *gasp* here
First of all, this whole "I'm Paula Abdul and I'm fucking sauced out of my mind" shtick needs to end. What is this woman thinking? Come on Paula...everyone notices. Stop getting high before and during the show.
2. Of ALL the song categories out there, the producers pick "The 90's"
Seriously?? I knew it would be all down hill from there, folks.
Let's call it out, shall we?
Bo: You did a good job, my friend. And your hair doesn't look so much like it was attacked by a straightening iron.
(Important side note that is completely unrelated to this post: My lip zit is thinking about making a return engagement)
Jessica: I have never heard this song. It was boring. But I still love you and your overbite.
Anwar: HORRENDOUS. Oh man. I hope he's going home. I was so on his bandwagon a couple weeks ago, too. Not only do I HATE "I Believe I Can Fly" by fucking R. Kelly but it was a terrible rendition. TERRIBLE.
Nadia: Not boring but I'm really still wretching over Anwar.
Constantine: A ballad. Go figure. You still can't sing. And you're ugly.
Nikko: I hate you. And you sang an R&B song. Huge surprise, assface.
Anthony: I strongly dislike you. Your voice is...shrill.
Carrie: I love you, but you have the personality of a wet paper bag. Keep rocking the big hair.
Scott: You wore pajamas. You didn't sound as good as last week. I'm sorry.
Vonzel: Genuis. Loved it. You looked smokin hot. Whoever is doing your eye makeup should win a special eye make up prize. I'd totally do you. But I like penis too much.
But I digress...
I cannot believe the lip zit returns.
(don't pick it don't pick it don't pick it)