Friday, April 01, 2005

Disappointment as Life Lesson

So by now, one would think I would have learned my lesson about anticipation. That sometimes, if you anticipate something so much, analyzing and overanalyzing its eventual occurrence, it may turn out to disappoint you. This is because it has been built up so much that your hopes and dreams and wishes for said event can never realistically be fulfilled. Not ever.

I haven't learned this lesson yet. I still tend to hold upcoming events (and people) up so high that I am almost always disappointed by them. I've tried to lower my expectations, but I feel I shouldn't have to. Or should I?

Do I lower my standards because so many other people have either lowered theirs or they were low to begin with? Should I not get excited about things? Should I not have faith in people?

I just don't know.


The Dummy said...

I think it's good to get excited about people - there's absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings and getting giddy over someone!

And lowering your standards just wouldn't be fair to you and the guy -- you'd have to live with it knowing he wasn't quite up to your expectations, and then what would you do if someone who did DID come along?

I've learned it helps to keep my standards high, but to put my focus of attention to the interest level of the person I like, instead of focusing on my interest level. Because often, the two are very different. And when I can see where that other person is coming from, there are fewer surprises (and disappointments). It's hard to do at first, but it gets easier.

Steph said...

Thanks for the comment, DD. Focusing my level of interest on the other person sounds really...hard. But being disappointed all the time is partially my own fault, I'm sure a perception problem. Work in progress, I always say.