Thursday, April 07, 2005

Ding Dong, The No-Talent Son of a Baseball Star is dead (gone...whatever)!

I just read a blog entirely devoted to television and the Idol details have put me to shame. SHAME!

I'm entirely happy that Nikko is gone. I hated him, really. Enough with the elaborate, note-jumping, vocal trips crap. You suck. And you already have enough money to live on and not have to work for the rest of your life. I don't want to hear your whining.

Tuesday's show left so much to be desired. It's hardly worth writing about, but of course I will. I miss Jessica dearly. I'm not crazy about any of the contestants left on the show and my unabashed love for all that is The Idol has severely mellowed. Maybe I have grown a soul. It could be anything really.

Moving on...
Now, I love showtunes. There is something so innocent and wholesome about them and I can't get enough. It might have something do with the fact that my father, for a straight man, owns more musical soundtracks than I think he would like me to mention here. In any case, I was excited when I heard that was this week's theme. But my hopes were so quickly dashed that it left my head spinning.

There are plenty of non-boring showtunes that don't suck the will to live out of you. These fucking contestants picked THE WORST ones.

Constantine is disgusting and makes me want to throw up all over the front of myself. His drooling and sucking on the microphone while staring into the camera with those little beady eyes, trying to convince himself that he's sexy, is just enough to make me throw up the homemade lasagna I just ate. I'm not exaggerating.

Now, I want to give Anwar some mad props. I know I said some not so nice things about him last week, but he sang a song from "Camelot" (my favorite song) so I'm cutting him some slack. But he still doesn't move me, not in the slightest. It probably has something to do with the jacket he was sporting that looked like something out of Interview with the Vampire II: Wardrobe Malfunction.

Vonzell may be edging in as my new favorite. I'll use the word loosely because she has not won my heart yet, but she may be on her way there. Those people backstage have really made her up nice.

I hate Anthony. Why would anyone think that removing a pair of glasses and putting on white pants with loafers is going to increase their popularity with me?

And Bo. Oh Bo. Who in the HELL sings a song from PIPPIN?? That has to be the worst written musical EV.ER. What were you thinking? Have you no sense? Grease Lightning would have been AWESOME Bo, awesome! I loved the pants, but the shirt gave me a migraine. Lay off on the sparkles, bud.

No one else is worth mentioning.


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