Thursday, April 21, 2005

Ty the Handy Guy

Last night while watching The Idol (don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Anwar) I, very unfortunately, caught sight of a Sears commercial starring none other than the infamous Ty Pennington.

Now, I would never deprive anyone of some shameless money-making, but this guy has gone way over the top. Stop the megaphone screeching, non-T-shirt wearing, fake-tan sporting madness.

For your enjoyment, some snippets from his bio:

Born and raised in Atlanta, Ty learned woodworking from his father. Growing up, Ty loved to surf, skateboard and play soccer. As a television star, you guessed it, Ty still loves to surf, skateboard and play soccer. He also has a one man band called Barney, which he sings and plays the guitar in a white leisure suit lit up with Christmas lights. He also creates mixed media art such as the mockumentary detailing the life and work of fictional artist Adis Pozal (played by Ty in goggles).

There are so many things wrong with the above that I hardly know where to begin.

Quotable Ty: “I’m the kid who never wants to grow up. I want to have fun my entire life.”

Well, Ty. You got me beat. I don't want to have any fun ever in my life. You're a real hero.

For some crazy reason, he appeals to some sort of strange demographic of women between the ages of 40 and 60. I don't know this for a fact but I know for sure he does nothing for me or anyone else I know in my age range.

He makes my skin crawl...and not in a good way.


Melissa said...

The thing is, at first, he was kind of just the cute carpenter on Trading Spaces - but then - oh my, he started to get really annoying, really fast. And the closer you looked, the more he seemed to be worn around the edges - as if the fake bake were hiding some serious flaws - and then, oh, the screaming, the shouting, it all just gets very overwhelming by the time you reach "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" because the bastards actually gave him a bullhorn. Oh, but the invasion continues....Sears is evil.

Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!
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Anonymous said...

Well: don't watch, you can zapp!!