Wednesday, April 13, 2005

A Letter to the President

Dear Doll,

I see that you left a few pieces of paper on my desk this morning. Did you need me to do something with them or have you gone ahead and assumed that I've finally perfected my mind reading skills? I do, in fact, understand that you own this small, shitty company. Good for you. However, I question whether this gives you the balls to assume that I am your secretary. I do not think it does. Perhaps if you need or want someone to press buttons or make phone calls on your behalf, you should hire a secretary. Until then, I am not here to tend to every piece of crap that happens to come across your desk.

Now, perhaps I should have more respect for you. Perhaps I should realize that you own this company and should be able to do whatever it is you see fit. I do not agree. I would like to think, may it be naively, that should I one day own my own company, not only would it be considerably less shitty, but I would behave as I would want my employees to behave. For example: Instead of coming into the office at least an hour late everyday, I would show up on time, even early if need be. This sets an example for your other employees and boosts moral. If the owner of this god forsaken hell hole gets here on time every morning, then I should make an effort as well. In that same vein, perhaps you should refrain from treating the people who work very hard for you like peons and slaves.

This may help things, even if only a little.

Before I forget...the new sales guy you hired? No one likes him. Good luck with that.

Best Regards,