Revisiting

So I reread my posts from Monday and realized what a miserable asshole I sounded like. No more of that...at least not for a few days.

Today I'm back at work. Yesterday was a "day off" but since it didn't include me lying around and not showering, it didn't really count. My sister is doing just fine although it was strange to see her so incapacitated. It was even more strange to by reminded of the helplessness that my sister's family exhibits when she's not being Super Mom. I'm not sure what disturbed me more but I was disturbed.

So, I talk to the boyfriend about it...who does not understand why I am sad or upset if my sister is going to be just fine. To be honest boyfriend, I don't understand it either. We then had a rather pointless, emotionally charged conversation which I still can't figure out. I think we feed off of each other's circular dialogue and martyr-like vulnerabilities. But I do like him quite a bit...despite it all. Sometimes I think we each just want to pick a fight to forget about what's really bothering us. And I think we both obliged last night. He has some money stress and I have some sisterlifejobmoneyapartment things going on. hehehe

I don't think he reads too often anymore...but if you are reading dear...thanks for being you, even if you do drive me completely and utterly insane at times.