Monday, February 28, 2005

I know that blogging isn't supposed to be "hard" but I find the different little details of it a little mind numbing. Please see my newest attempt at really "getting into this" in my links portion to the right. Some noteable blogs/LJ's are in there. Visit them or what you want, I really don't care.

After an emotionally harrowing weekend (Oh, I know...aren't they all??), I'm back in the office and bored out of my mind. In an attempt to cheer myself up (aka, lift myself out of my mild but manageable depression...for various reasons) as well as squelch my boredom, I've decided to post here about one of my favorite topics...pop culture. Today, it will be in the form of THE OSCARS, which I watched ad nauseam last night.

Pre-show: Sunday, February 27th, 6pm - 8:30pm
I secretly (eh...maybe it's not such a secret) wanted to watch Joan and Melissa Rivers on the red carpet BUT for those of you not in the know, E! fired them and they were doing their thang on some other channel which I never figured out because I was being severely lazy (go figure). Instead, I flipped between Kathy Griffiths and Star Jones on E! and some idiots on the Style Network AND the lame ass coverage that ABC was doing via local news personalities. Lest I forget the Barbara Walters "pre-Oscar" special of which only ONE of the three guests had anything to do with the actual Oscars. Apparently she couldn't get anyone relevant this year besides Jamie Foxx (bless his heart!). She interviewed Will Ferrel, whom I love, and kept telling him how weird he was. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Have you looked in the mirror lately, Barbara? She also talked to Teri Hatcher for what seemed like the majority of the show about how she hasn't had sex in years and yada yada yada. Listen, I think it's great that Teri Hatcher is working again but I am NOT going to feel sorry for someone who's 40 and has that body. I'm 24 and I couldn't have that body even if I ate only lettuce and was constantly doing tummy crunches and thigh lunges. Please. No mercy for you, Teri. No.

I probably could have done without Star Jones and kept wishing that Kathy was the one down there with the bling (why? not sure) microphone. Yes, Kathy has played out her B status more than any of us (including her, I'm sure) care to admit but it would have been better than the ass kissing that was endured by the stars talking to Star. I liked her hair, though. It looked pretty.

The Style Network had this huge room of people all on various shows (I'm assuming) from their own network and they were all just bitching about how big the gift bags for presenters were and slamming some of the stars for their outfits. Now, I'll criticize a stranger just as much as the next bitchy 20-something, but NOT on cable television and not looking like I just rolled out of bed, put on black mascara and thought it fit to call myself an expert. What are these people thinking? They actually had me disagreeing with them out of pure spite, even though I actually, deep down, thought Laura Linney did, in fact, look like Celine Dion if she were a drag queen and wearing a dress that looked like it was sewn together by my 6 year old niece after the dog tried to eat it. I'm just saying.

THE OSCARS: 8:30pm - 11:30pm-ish
The show itself didn't really pick up until about 11:15. Let's be honest...Chris Rock can't be funny to save his life unless he's swearing or talking inappropriately about black people, white people or any other people. He had some good one-liners, but they really did fall on deaf ears as, apparently, very few attendees had any sort of sense of humor (Read: Sean Penn...God, you are a miserable fuck, aren't you??)

At any rate, if the show had just been the pre-show plus the last 10 minutes or so of the actual ceremony, that would have been enough for me. They changed the format around a bit, which is always refreshing, but it was still three plus hours of people richer than I will ever be thanking other people who are richer than I will ever be.

But I loved it...every single, boring, fashion emergency second of it.

I feel better, which is all that matters because it is, truth be told, all about me.

1 comment:

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