Monday, March 07, 2011

One day, three posts

The hopeless sad sack from today's first post has written me back...with more questions. I don't have the energy to reply at the moment, but if the mood strikes me I might. Where does he hail from, you ask? Well only Australia!

If I wasn't exploiting his awkwardness purely for my entertainment, I might feel sorry for him.

Here it is, in all its glory:

"Thank you so much! You’re a total angel ☺

Haha. I really am from Australia, but please don’t let me ruin your image of the country or its inhabitants. For what it’s worth, I don’t fit in here either. I was just asking for the opinions of any pretty girls who showed up on my ‘Matches’ list that were online at the time.

When other guys have approached you successfully, what did they start talking about, or what about the conversation impressed you enough to take things further? And can you think of any better places to meet guys than in bars?

Hmm. I’m sort of ‘Michael Cera awkward’, except I look like an actual man. I was starting to think that if I faked my own confidence long enough, I might start to believe it myself…

Haha. I’m definitely getting the impression women are judging men as potential marriage partners and fathers almost from the moment they meet…

I have one female friend who feels comfortable enough to tell me about all of her encounters, and I wouldn’t be asking you if she didn’t tell me. One of them was, by her estimation, nine and a half inches. I guess I was just curious how common that is, if that’s what I’m up against with every girl or something. I know it’s ridiculous, but all guys want to be the biggest and the best, you know?

What do you really want from your guy friends – a brother figure and protector, or a girl without the emotions? Ever summon them for advice? Ever cry to them? Do you talk to them on the phone a lot? Or are they strictly for in-person use?

Thanks so much for your honesty. It all seems so much easier when written down…"

Now you may be asking yourself, self: "Really?!"

I am here to say yes. Yes. Really.

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