Friday, May 13, 2005

sweet dreams are in no way made of this

I have been violated.

And not in a good way.

Let me explain.

I was sleeping very well last night, which lately is a rare occurence. I was awoken at 3am to the sounds of Christian yelling and yelping about something in broken English. They were muffled screams with a loud "Yoo!" every few minutes. I didn't hear Dennis at all so I wondered who he was talking to.

I couldn't ignore it, so I got out of bed and made my way into the kitchen. I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in, so all I could see were blurry outlines. But I know that Christian is taller than Dennis, so I knew who was who.

I don't like anyone to see me right when I get out of bed, especially in the middle of the night. I'm still all sleepy and out of it, not to mention cranky, and my hair looks like a cross between Jerry Lee Lewis (circa marrying his 14 year old cousin) and the ugly guy from House Party with the flat top.

Dennis DJed last night, so he was completely sober. Christian (who will now on be referred to as DE for Disgusting European) was out of control drunk. I've never seen him this way and I know that he drove himself home this way. And that really pisses me off, even more than I was already for being awoken in the wee hours of the morning.

They are both standing in the kitchen, DE telling Dennis about his night, and Dennis just standing there and nodding his head. Like I said, I could only make out their shapes.

So I head to the bathroom and DE is still raving about his night with his friend Snowflake (oh god I don't even want to know why or how this nickname exists). I come out and head back to my room, pleading to Dennis to shut DE up, but also knowing that this is nearly impossible to do, with any drunk idiot. DE goes to give me a "hug" and I let him, in hopes that he'll shut the hell up. Well, instead of a hug, I get full on gropped.

I'm not talking "he brushed his elbow against my nipple" kind of grope. I'm talking "I was wearing no bra and he full on grabbed my boob AND my ass" kind of grope. I quickly pushed him away while screaming "Do not EVER touch me EVER" and scurried back into my room. If I had been more lucid and not half asleep, I definitely would have kicked him in the balls.

So, I'm dreaming of my sweet, sweet revenge. Any ideas are so very welcome.


Melissa said...

Did you know that poison ivy can live in clothing for several years?

Steph said...

No, I did not know that. With this knowledge, I shall be set free.