I haven't written a bitter, spiteful (don't forget sarcastic!) post about anything lately.
My calculations show that it's about damn time.
About being single:
I have a love-hate relationship with being single. All of the time it's freed up on the weekends has been really nice. I've met a bunch of new and wonderful (seriously) people that I wouldn't have met had I still been attached and had no forseeable social life except for my ex boyfriend's social life. My self worth is really up there. I'm losing weight because I'm on the prowl. But sometimes I just want a (cute, single, non-asshole-ish) boy to snuggle with, who loves my bed head, doesn't snore and will run my errands for me (the mannish ones). Is that SO much to ask?
About living in a bonafide shit hole:
There is no update here. I still hate it and treat it as a necessary evil until I either 1) win the lottery that I never play 2) a very distant and very rich relative dies and leaves me their $1.2 million or 3) actually find a job that pays more than I make here.
Side note: On the news this morning, the women who wrote some book about the "quarter-life crisis" was being interviewed. Is this just a crutch for us 20 somethings (maybe even early 30 somethings) so that we can come to terms with what failures we are? Or is it really, truly harder now than it ever has been? I want a no bullshit answer and I can't seem to find one.
About my thankless, shitty job:
Mondays are always the worst. I'm usually one of three people who actually bother to come in or don't have to be "somewhere else." I live across the street, so my excuses are few and far between. It's just so boring and unexciting. I don't want skydiving included or anything (actually...), but a little something now and then would be nice. I've started to get excited about catching a glimpse of the hot mailman which, when I stop to think about it, is really pathetic. For my job, not for me. Right.
I can't stand the man who "runs" this place. He actually used the phrase "too busy" to describe his mental state over the past couple of weeks. What he forgets is that he does nothing all day except forward me useless information that I immediately delete and stick his nose into things that really don't concern him (which he is presently doing). I have had some fantasies over the last couple of weeks that include pieces of the office fight scene from Fight Club (only I don't make myself bleed) coupled with images of myself in some sort of heroine costume (and I look HOT), conquering "The Man."
Second side note: I forgot to put deodorant on today. Although I could have easily run across the street when I realized I had forgotten, I didn't. Luckily, I'm only starting to notice at 3:41 today. On the other hand, I have no one to impress here and I could care less. They're lucky I'm actually wearing clothes and not just a large sheet.
About everything else:
This weather is terrible for my hair. And my roots look awful. But I need money to fix the roots problem, which I really don't have as I've already explained.
Not to leave this on a positive note to ruin it, but even I get sick of my bad attitude. I know it's pretty entertaining for you guys, but can you imagine if I was really like this all the time?
Woah! What a nut job!
But seriously...I haven't wanted to kill anyone at all today. Really!