For your enjoyment...
First of all, I'm a cuticle biter not to be confused with a nail biter. I basically pick and tear and chew at my cuticles either until I'm bleeding or the pain is too much to handle. It's more a nervous habit, something I do without even realizing I'm doing it. Because of this, I have to have a pair of nail clippers with me at all times, in case I need to take care of an emergency situation. This is only part of my girl scout arsenal. I'll make a great mom, needless to say.
My sister has this same habit. If we catch each other doing it, we slap, yell and just try and discourage the activity in general. Because, like I said, it can be unconscious at times. My boyfriend, we'll call him "Jared," also finds this habit fairly annoying (as he does most of my bad habits...and ditto) likes to point out that my thumbs have become unrecognizable. Because I have no cuticles on my thumbs (they get the brunt of the abuse) they have ridges in the nails and are terribly thin and just gross in general. I know he means well but I still find it a little...hurtful. He will also slap, yell and tease me in an attempt to get me to stop. Thanks dear.
You'd think will all of this negative reinforcement, I would cease and desist. But I can't help it. If no one is there to stop me and I don't even know I'm doing it, bad things happen. My hands, as a result, usually look like they were just put through a meat grinder. Once every couple of months, I will thoroughly moisturize in an attempt to undo some of the damage that I have done. It's usually a very futile effort. They look semi-OK for a few days and then go to shit again. It's...tedious.
Moving on...I'm terribly gassy. This most often translates into belching. This isn't your run of the mill, girly little burp. This is an all out, feel the bass on the rip of this belch. While some find it amusing in certain settings, others are less than thrilled that I can belch like a 400 pound man. Jared is one of these people. In an attempt to appease him, I try to keep it under wraps when we hang out. HOWEVER....if certain foods and beverages are involved, they are sometimes uncontrollable. And I'm not just giving that as an excuse. Even a closed, covered mouth version of these belches can shake the ground beneath you. Lately, I've been hiccuping and burping at the same time, which usually results in a loud, scary, high pitched yelp. It's mildly alarming. I made an old lady in CVS jump the other day.
Don't I sound like a complete train wreck yet?
In other news, I hate my job.