Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Hi...is your mom home?

At work yesterday, I got a mysterious voice mail from a not so eloquent woman who claims she had sent me her resume and were we still looking to fill summer positions? She left an inaudible last name, no first name, and a phone number.

There were many things wrong with this voice mail:
1. Last time I checked, it was July 1st and the summer is in full swing.

2. I don't know your name. Why would I call you back?

Normally I wouldn't return this call, but I was kind of bored and curious about who like this exists in the world.

So I call and the same woman answers. I say who I am and where I'm calling from and I'm returning a call from this number, but the person didn't leave their first name. She apologizes. So I ask her what email address she used to send her resume. Then the fun began. It went something like this:

Me: What email address did you send your resume to?
Crazy Lady (CL): Well it's not my resume. It's my son, Jeremy.
Me: Ok (inaudible insult)...what email address did your son send his resume to?
CL: Oh I have that information in the other room. Would you mind just holding on for a minute?
Me: Ok.
CL: I have so many fans going, I can't hear you very well. Could you speak up?
Me: OK!
CL: Ok to hold?
Me: Yes!
CL: Thanks so much. Be right back.

Now at this point of the conversation, I am wondering a few things.
1. Who still owns a phone with a cord?
2. Why isn't Jeremy calling me himself?
3. How OLD is this woman and how old is Jeremy?


CL: Ok I'm back. thank you so much for holding. What was the name of your company again? I'm sorry I've just been making SO many phone calls today.

This is something you don't ever EVER say to a potential employer.

Me: My name is Stephanie and I'm calling from ________. What is your last name?

CL: It's _________.

Me: I haven't received any resumes from anyone by that name. Did you find the email address he used?

CL: Well....uhm...let me see here...he's really better at these email things than I am...

Me: Can I ask why he didn't call himself?

At this point, I'm scared of the answer I will get, but I"m pretty sure it will be lame. However, I was braced for something like "Oh he's deaf and mute and you're a horrible person."

CL: He isn't very good on the phone but he's much better in person. Are you still hiring for the summer?

Me: Well, we are in July now, so we are set with summer interns. We had them set up in the spring.

CL: Oh. He started looking then but...(inaudible)

Me: Let me give you my email address. Send his resume to me and I will keep it on file for next summer. Have him check in with me early next year. Ok?

CL: Oh thank you so much. So it's too late for this summer?

Me: Yes...and I think he needs to get over the phone issue. He needs to be able to speak for himself.

CL: Now, I don't undertand that.

Me: I'm sorry?

CL: Agencies call on behalf of people all the time, what's the difference?

Me: The employment agencies are offering a service to firms and their contractors are their employees. Do you employ your son?

CL: Well no but-

Me: Send me that resume and thanks so much.

CL: Ok thank you-
*I HANG UP*

Update: I have not received a resume.

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