When is my movie moment

You know that part in a movie, when the heroine overcomes all odds and pulls herself up by her bra straps and just fucking gets shit DONE?

I need that moment.

I ordered books today, books about having a mortgage and buying a house. I'm terrified. My heart is in my throat.

I had a mini breakdown last night with DC. He was good about it. I felt mildly pathetic. I was all "Waaaaah...I'm alone...waaaah...I need more money..."

Where was the Waaaahmbulance when I needed it?

And then I thought...where does this deep want come from to be in a relationship? What, really, is my big hurry? I've fallen in love before, it can happen again...right? And when it did, I wasn't a panicked, whining sad sack, that's sure as shit. Lord, I wouldn't even want to date me right now.

So, for now, I'm trying to snap myself out it. Because it seems as if I was in a good mood on Monday. Interesting...

P.S. The super cute guy from Saturday night did not call. And he won't call. And I hate him. But a lesson: I should have gotten HIS number.