the drama finds me...again

I'm sorry about the lapses in posts. When I'm quiet, I know it makes some of you cranky, nervous, anxious...My drama is like crack to some of you apparently.

Today was a killer of a day...I've had too many of them lately.

My boss, and subsequently another key member of his staff, are both done here effective today. They both technically "resigned" but were really more fired. The way they've gone out could have been handled much better from their end. MUCH better. They've put me, and another remaining colleague, in an awkward position. It's not pleasant and we're both really irritated. The events of today leave me to assist with a messy clean up.

I'm completely on edge. I want to get out of this absolutely insane excuse for a work place, but I haven't quite reached the point with any propects where it's safe for me to leave. By safe I mean being able to jump from this income to another. I've got some things lined up but they require frequent leaves of absence from the office. As much as I don't care for my current employers, I still hate lying in general about my whereabouts. Doctor's appointments, car trouble, and family "emergencies" are all wearing thin. To make me feel even worse, one of the owners today told me that they "trust" me. Oye.

So I've already tried to brainstorm on the story that will go along with my notice. I've already planted the seed that working here doesn't necessarily fit in with my career goals. I didn't outright say I was looking for another job, but I did hint that I wasn't 100% happy, even before the beginning of the current downward spiral. When (and if) the new job offer comes and I weigh the pros and cons and eventually accept, I will tell the owners here that an old recruiting contact who is now at such and such a place has the perfect opportunity for me. This opportunity is much more focused on what I really want to do, so no hard feelings and by the way, I did my interview on a Saturday and never took work time to tend to personal business... Obviously I'm still trying to fine tune it.

My heart has been in my throat all day. In addition, a guy that I met last weekend that I really like and had fun with is turning out to be quite the pussy. But it's OK. I'm not dating right now anyway.

So send me all your positive thoughts. I need them now more than ever.