Dear eHarmony Matches,
You must be terribly busy, so busy in fact that you are too busy to check your online dating account, let alone to actually date.
It is quite puzzling to me why, after paying such a substational amount of money to date online, you just don't take any time at all to at least tell those interested in learning more about you that you do not share the sentiment. It is two clicks of the mouse. It is just common courtesy.
I'm trying to be patient and nice, but you're really pissing me off and trying my usually mild online dating manner.
In closing, fuck off. I'm sure you had small dicks anyway.