Deep Olympic Thoughts

The breast stroke is weird.

The beach volleyball guys should not be required to wear shirts. The women aren't!

I don't like swimming (there's so much swimming!!), but I really enjoy watching volleyball, beach and indoor.

I'm sick of hearing about Michael Phelps already. I know he's breaking all these records and stuff and that's really cool and all but...it's really hard for me to get and stay excited about it. It's either one or the other (get or stay, that is).

Bella Karoly is nearly impossible to understand. Also, his mustache is fascinating.

Bob Costas does not age. He has whatever Dick Clark had, pre-stroke (bless his heart).

If I won a Gold Medal, I would be blubbering all over myself during the medal ceremony. Think about what an amazing accomplishment you would be celebrating. I would be sobbing. Some of these people don't even well up. Give me a break. Robots!!

Gymnasts are amazing. Holy shit.