Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Arrogant Doogie Howser, not so much MD

Oh boy. I'm not entirely sure where I should start. At the beginning I suppose.

I met a guy through Match before I went on vacation. We'll call him Doogie for simplicity sake. He's originally from the Midwest and a first year surgical resident. We had a very awkward phone conversation about three days before I left for Florida and I thought I would never hear from him again. When my plane touched down in West Palm and I turned my phone back on, it rang...and it was him. I didn't recognize the number (non-programming of new guy rule) but answered only because I thought by some random chance my grandparents would be calling my cell phone (this would never happen) and also because I suffer from morbid curiosity.

Anywho...I didn't know who it was and even when he said his name, I still wasn't sure. Then the bells went off and I mumbled something about being on a plane and that I would call him back later. Because I was on vacation and wanted to keep a distance, I texted him...and it began. We texted back and forth for a bit and I told him I would let him know when I got back to Mass. He tried to make plans with me during the week. I turned him down the first time and blew him off the second. I lied about having to stay late at work, he was sympathetic (remember, doctor in training), which made him kind of endearing. So I told him how sorry I was and asked him about his weekend plans, wondering (hoping) if he would be working. We decide on Saturday lunch, nice and non-threatening. He meets me close to my place and from the get go I find him exhausting. He got up on his soapbox and he wouldn't get off. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say he made some sweeping generalizations about me after knowing me for about 20 minutes. And any of you reading this who know me know that this pissed me off. Any of you reading this will also know that I'm a sucker for a cute doctor to be, even if he is an arrogant prick.

After lunch (he chewed with his mouth open!), he asked if I wanted to go to a movie and I told me I needed to get home to...meet the cable guy (I know, horrible). Then he asked me what I was doing "later." I made a split second decision and told him I didn't have plans (I didn't) and if he goes out, I'll be around, let me know.

I honestly didn't think I would hear from him. I thought at this point, I had perhaps annoyed him as much as he annoyed me. But he called at around 6. We met up at 8 for drinks in a hole in the wall Jazz bar with a Ms. Pac Man game (awesome). Fast forward two hours and three beers later (after two glasses of wine at his apartment before the bar) and we are getting kicked out of the bar because he has pissed me off to the point where I have started to YELL. Now, I don't yell. It takes quite a bit to get to yell. That's how pissed off he made me. I was full of a feeling that can only be described as red, red rage. My mind was so full of hops and barley and rage!

I wanted to punch him in the face and make out with him, hard core, at the same time.

I skipped the punching in the face part.

Fast forward to 4 hours later when he walked me to my car and I wished he would just not talk ever EVER again. Now, you can use your imagination about what happened in between but I was a good girl.

I TOLD YOU he was cute!

To his credit (the only thing): He did pay for all of the above activities (I offered of course).

I hope he doesn't call. Not ever.

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