Madge, seriously? Really? Shut the fuck up

I went to the Madonna concert tonight. If you can't tell by the title of my entry, I really wasn't having it.

Some disclaimers: I'm not so much a large stadium concert person. I'm not so much into dance music. I do not own Madonna's two most recent albums. I paid $115 for my nose bleed (three rows from the very top!) ticket. My sister was next to me, and dripped sweat on me (AND repeatedly scratched me with her bracelet, then did not apologize) because she was doing a full on aerobics routine for nearly two hours. There were four of us and someone (I won't name names) only bought three bottles of water (after offering to get me one) and then offered me the swill left in hers when she realized the other two had been drained. Yum!

It's an election year. It's a big deal. It's less than a month away.

Today was my last day of work. I'm tired. I'm drained. I'm stressed.

I am taking into account ALL of these things.

Other pertinent information: The amount of money and fame that Madonna has is ridiculous. I mean, let's give her publicist a round of applause.

Yes, that's right!

Stop what you're doing.

(I'm serious)

I'll wait

....

....

....

And clap your hands for that person.

I hope they retire early. That's miracle work.

To continue: Her money and fame allow her to do some awesomely self indulgent shit. She's worked very hard to get what she has and she deserves what ever crazy insane out of control completely unnecessary lasers she wants. She looks great for 50. I saw her Reinvention tour two years ago and was blown away. The lady puts on a show. I'm not denying any of this.

Now the good part. Let me tell you what I HATED about this concert.

1. The sheer amount of electric energy that went into putting on the show, during which we had to watch a cute little montage about taking more responsiblility as citizens, and using green energy.

(my throat is tightening)

2. As if the completely random and slanted political montage wasn't enough, we had to listen to her "talk" to us for 5 minutes about how we better be "fucking" registered to vote and we better "fucking" vote for Obama and how Madge "won't mention what an idiot Sarah Palin is." Listen. I'm ALL for having a political agenda you support and are passionate about, no matter what side of the fence you are on. I admire it. Bravo and all that shit. What I absolutely will not tolerate is having to pay to hear her policital agenda. Take an add out. Write an article. Do an interview. Anything else. I am paying for YOU to entertain ME. Period. Get off your fucking soap box and stop lecturing me. And should I even bother to mention that WE DON'T LIVE IN A SWING STATE SO IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!

Ok, I'm sorry about the caps. But I really needed the emphasis on this one.

3. Yet another montage about commercialism and how we are all stupid for being swayed by media and basically blind and stupid. Uhm...then give me my $115 back and stop selling T-shirts for $50.

Is this completely enraging anyone else?

4. Her arms. They are gross. Eat a sandwich and lay off the Bikram Yoga for a month. Just enough. You're fit. We get it. Wear more things with sleeves.

5. Her fake hair. You're 50. Stop with the extensions and please don't "grow" bangs mid show. I just. Sigh. I just can't deal with it.

6. The almost constant demand for the audience to scream louder and jump higher. Leave me alone! Let me BE, woman!

The vein in my neck is throbbing again so I will leave you with this one last thought: I want my money back.