Thursday, September 15, 2005

Oops I...had a C-section

You must have known that the cheap shots at celebrities would be back. It was only a matter of time. I can only be gooey about being in love in small doses. Otherwise, I'll get sick on myself.

So B. Spears and K. Fed now have a little baby boy. I knew that was coming. What I didn't expect was for B. Spears to have to get sliced open like can of Campbell's Chunky. I can't speak from experience, but I hear that this really ruins your chance to ever have a bikini-worthy stomach, let alone a six pack worthy of a concert tour. I can't say I don't feel a little twinge of guilt for even touching the subject of this kind of misfortune, but I quickly got over it and remembered that I really am a cold bitch at heart. For the rest of my life, I and so many others like me will offically have a better looking stomach than B. Spears. Her sex symbol status, although dying since she started having sex with K. Fed, bed ridden after she announced her pregnancy, is now offically pushing up daisies.

I can't help but snicker. Isn't it awful?


Anonymous said...

Don't go buying your tube tops quite yet. I hear some women, especially those with plenty o'personal trainers and an aptitude for sit-ups, can recover from the slice. Even if she's never back to fitting into that red rubber suit, perhaps a wobbly tummy is better than the after effects of a "natural" birth. Not sure if I can really choose between a bit of a pudge or a stretched out vag dangling between the knees and taking half the water with me when I get out of the bath. One of life's true conundrums.

Melissa said...

Eww, who put spam in your blog?

Anyway - I hear the reason B. Spears decided to go under the knife was that she just couldn't stand the pain of childbirth - someone probably should have told her that getting sliced is pretty nasty

Steph said...

Fuckin' Spam!!

Hannah, is that you? I think the word "wobbly" gave you away. The stretched out Vag comment is one for the books. :P

Brit doesn't seem to type to have much of a high tolerance for pain.

Scott Cunning said...

I don't know--this will probably give her an in with the scar fetish and amputee-porn crowds.

(And I was born by C-section; lo and behold, never once in my life have I seen my mom in anything but a one-piece. Not that I'm complaining, mind...)