Subsection

Bill is away this week curing cancer, so I need to write about something else.

I think I'll go with my job. In one vein, I work for one company, the one that signs my paychecks. In another vein, I work for two companies. Imagine working for an international corporation (and all of the politics that go along with it) while, at the same time, working for a privately owned corporation (and ditto). Exhausted yet?

Everyday, it's worlds colliding on a high level. It has become increasingly difficult for me to do the main function of my job because of all the fucking corporate machine bullshit. Recent "policy" changes have made it increasingly difficult for me to be a corporate cheerleader, which is a huge part of my role. Added to that, I am underpaid and therefore extremely unmotivated. At this point, the whole situation is just soul sucking.

I have reached a state that I refer to as "The Rot." The Rot can be something you feel about your job, your relationship, or any major part of your life. In any case, you have reached a point where you stop caring about the outcome of your decisions and it is a true struggle to get out of bed in the morning. You may have an underlying anxiety that is constant or a bitter taste in your mouth that you just cannot get rid of. It is not that you wholly despise it, it is that you have this vacant feeling, as if the reason you once loved something has drifted away and may never be captured again.

But the shadow of why you orginally accepted your current state remains, and perhaps you feel as if you need to give it a fighting chance. So you stay...and wait.