Friday, March 23, 2007

Freaking out is the name of the game

Alrighty...

I accepted a new job on Wednesday and gave my notice here. I told the team yesterday. The client does not know yet, so it doesn't seem real to me. I'm supposed to be working on filling all of these jobs that I have open, but I have this overwhelming feeling of anxiety today. I can't focus and I'm freaking out.

The new job is so huge and such a great opportunity that it borders on scary and intimidating. Self confidence will be key, so let's hope I get that back in full force soon.

I am so wishy washy about Bill. It's driving me crazy right now for some reason. I was doing so well! I like him, then I'm just "eh" about him. I need to and want to let it ride. All signs point to him being a good guy for me. And am I nit picking it in order to sabotage it or am I really "not that into him"? Who knows. What I do know is that I hate how he never asks me how I'm doing. I can see now why the ex broke up with him due to lack of communication. He knows he's bad at it, and acceptance and awareness are usually the biggest hurdles to overcome. He has been great about me being a cranky bitch, and that's hard to come by. He lets me do laundry in his apartment. I told him to buy a new mop and clean his stove...and he did. He makes me laugh, he cooks me food, he makes a mean cocktail.

Dammit!

Too much at once, too much at once!!

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