What a fucking crappy hand I keep getting dealt. I guess this can only mean one thing: Some REALLY GOOD STUFF must be coming down the pike any day now. Right?
At any rate, Nick is now the official "X" and I'm basically a big fucking mess this weekend. My grandmother's memorial service was this past Saturday, and that wasn't exactly fun either.
He dumped me because we are just too "different" which is completely lame and I just don't get it. I'll never get it. I called him today for closure and all he really had to say was "Sorry." I asked him again if there was someone else, and he said "no." I asked me again if this was really what he wanted and he said "'Want' isn't the right word."
I wasn't expecting much.
Some good things about all of this:
1. I no longer have to deal with an ex-wife.
2. I no longer have to carry around two phones all of the time.
3. I no longer have to pay for expensive plane tickets or go more months than not without seeing my boyfriend.
4. I can finally decide whether or not I want to REALLY move out of my apartment and into a better one.
and 5. I can be single with the rest of my friends for the summer.
So...there's that stuff. I wish this was easier and didn't completely suck so much. But...as Fiona would say:
"It ended bad, but I love where we started."
And..."What wasted unconditional love...on somebody who doesn't believe in the stuff...oh well!"
Thanks for everything.
My pain is your gain.
3 comments:
Steph- I am feeling for you. It is quite a hand to be delt in a very short time. The best thing I can say is to be proud of what you gave....
Love, M-Kizzle
uh damn. It's hard for lots of me's out there but that doesn't make you feel good. No closure or even a little might not have helped either. i hear you have to help yourself, which is shit because who feels like doing that? It's never fast enough, either. I feel for you. I'm right there. So much in fact, that I think I blogged that same Fiona line. I could feel it in my blood. Nice choice. Here's to more promising adventures. -clink-
ked...where have you been all my life, brother? Thanks for writing. It made me feel better. :)
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